Last night I had trouble sleeping my mind would not be still from yesterdays events. There are two peices to this post. The first is a frustrated poem about senseless violence. The second is a song I wrote for a friend many many years ago.
What right have you to make us feel afraid
To trap us here inside our boundaries
And make us cease to trust our fellow man
What ghoulish power joined with you today
To make us wince at breezes in the trees
and hide indoors in day as best we can
Did anger, hate, distraught, or helpless rage
Convert you to a mindless, thoughtless fool
Determined to a violent good bye
Your final act upon a blood bath stage
The devils advocate or demons tool
And leave behind a land too shocked to cry
You serve us doubt in ladles round and deep
As hearts fly to the ones we hold so dear
Imagining what we cannot believe
And draw us out from needed peaceful sleep
To reconcile the senseless things we hear
With feelings rationale cannot conceive.
My friend left my friendship to marry my ex. In the long run I came out ahead and free and with an enviable life. Yet for many, many days while everything grew darker, it seemed like the end. Then the song I wrote for my friend came back to lift me back into belief. Somehow it seems appropriate now for so many reasons.
My load was heavy and my road seemed so long
My heart was broken and I could not find a song
The empty void that I call life had pushed me down
But I found Jesus when I turned around
Now I can see the way He gave me good for bad
I may not see the reasons for the pain I've had
but yet his grace my troubled heart from fear has freed
He was beside me in my hour of need.
Out of the darkest part of the night there came the dawn
Out of the deepest hurt the sweetest songs are born
In my loneliness I looked to find His face
And in my helplessness I found His grace.
May we as individuals and may our reeling nation find peace and grace in this time of need.
