Vitally United

In the 15th chapter of John, Jesus gives us a comparative.  5 “I am the vine; you are the branches, my Father is the gardener.  

No branch can bear fruit of itself without being vitally united to the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. AMP

My heart is captivated by the description from the Amplified Bible, 'vitally united.’  That just stays in my mind.  He talks a lot in this chapter about prayer.  Over and over he says ask what you will and it will be given –if you are vitally united.  There is an old movie where a guy gets struck by a love potion and tells this girl she is his sunrise, his Venus and though they are enemies she is deeply effected.  Later she accuses him of falsehood and asks what happened.  He says simply “It went away.”  I fear our vital need for Jesus is often like that.  We are struck in the moment by our need, by emotion, by events but then it goes away.  The devotion that made life feel impossible without connection to the heart of Jesus gets overrun by the day.  Yet Christ is to live in all we do –and he does if we are vitally united.  I will say you cannot be partially united to Christ.  You can fail and will fail when you are vitally united to Christ, but union with him will pull your heart to repentance.

7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

I think of Xerses telling Esther that she could have what ever she ask up to half his kingdom.  What love we recognize in that!  Yet the King of Kings has given us a greater promise:  Whatever you ask will be given you.  We ask and become discouraged when we don’t get what we asked for.  I will say that we may not understand being vitally united to Him. 

It's like our branch is attached somewhat to the vine, but there are other things that feed us and control our growth and character.  We leave a place that is somewhat aloof from the vine so that we have options.  Perhaps the materialism and vulgarity of the world will do us some favor in the future.  Perhaps we will be injured by the thoughtlessness of others.  Perhaps we will need one last hurrah as a worldly person.  Perhaps we don’t want to hear “NO!  Don't go there.”  For whatever reason, we reserve the right to not be vitally united to the vine.  But we still want the prayers answered.

The destructive changes are slow.  We made a break with the past.  Our hearts were clean.  We were amazed at the changes God brought: the freedom, the love, the wellbeing, the strength.  But the lust of the flesh passed by.  We barely noticed that we noticed at all.  The pride of life welled up.  We gave only fleeting homage to its reasoning.  The lust of the eyes screamed out.  We saw that it was desirable and we began to forget. 

What does the word say?  What word can remain in us to keep us vitally united?  Is it really important to obey every time God speaks to our heart?

10 If  you continue to obey My instructions, you will live on in My love, just as I have obeyed My Father’s commandments and live on in His love. 

God may never tell you not to buy tomatoes that day.  God may never ask you to put that jacket back on the rack and walk away.  God may never say “That’s not for you,” when you spy that music you always wanted.  But if you continue in the love of Christ, there will come a time when he says “DON’T.”   I must say that, in my experience, the human right rears quickly.  Like children we whine and question.  How indignant we feel when our children don’t respect our good judgment or good intention for them!  Yet the tempter comes and says “Hath God said, ………” and we begin to reason.   

12 This is My commandment: that you love one another just as I have loved you.  13 No one has shown stronger affection than to give up his own life for his friends. AMP

Something happened awhile back.  It involved a person close to me and an issue of trust.  It also involved the pride of life.  I was justifiably injured and I was angry.  God said “Forgive and walk away from it.”  I could not for a time.  Illness overtook me.  I made some valiant spiritual efforts, but did not let go completely.  Eventually I had to ask for forgiveness, give forgiveness and desire love in my own heart toward the offender. 

“Just as I have loved you.” Jesus said. 

I said “You wouldn’t let me get away with that and not apologize or try to make it right.” 

And yet I knew; yes I knew.  I have not given up my own life.  I still hold the right to live it as I please some times.  How can I ever hope to be completely and vitally united to the heart and power of Christ in this life?

16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

What a simple command!  When asked, Jesus said every command God gave us is wrapped up in two.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  We accept the first even though we have frailty that will make us fail.  Then like the people of his day we ask “Just who is my neighbor?”  This time he just said “Love each other.”

But sometimes, you are hard to love.  Okay, I’ll admit that sometimes I am hard to love.  But the fruit of the spirit is ‘love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control.’  I think the completion of the first fruit is wrapped in the others.  They are not progressive, they are integrated and interdependent.  How can I say  “Love, joy, peace, faith, live in me.  Forget it, self-control, forget it, patience.  What is meekness anyway?”  This is a package.  This is what the Holy Spirit will do in us when we are grafted to the Son.  

The Son commands "Love!"  The Spirit adds power to the love and 8 other gifts are added.  This will change our lives.  This will change our minds.  This will honor the Father and they will make their dwelling with us – vitally united.

Do We Understand?

He said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you?” NIV ‘84

Before the Passover Feast began, Jesus was fully aware that the time had come for Him to leave this world and return to the Father. And as He had loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them to the last and to the highest degree.  (AMP)

Jesus loved his followers.  I see this night before his arrest as a grueling time.  That is how John –perhaps his best friend- portrays it.  Even in the softness of their time in the upper room where Jesus bared his heart and showed them plainly how much he loved them, (NIV) there is a feeling of dread.  He knew what was coming.  In Matthew it says he laid it all out for them in advance –the arrest, the condemnation, the crucifixion, the abandonment, and yes even the resurrection.  He didn't ladle it out to them in a parable, but he told them plainly, directly, with detail what was coming.  Yet they didn't understand.  They talked and argued and planned as though next week would be the same as this week and next month would be the same as this month and so on.

I feel a weariness in his words.  I detect an intensity to prepare them and an understanding that they just didn't ‘get’ it.

2 The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;

On the way that night, the disciples had a disagreement.  One writer says the mother of James and John ask Jesus to give her sons the main leadership role in his new order.  But when Jesus asked if they knew what they were asking for, the boys responded.  To me, that indicates that they put her up to it.  Jesus had just been telling them about what was coming and they asked for cabinet positions in his new kingdom.  No, they didn’t understand.

But his great love for them made it imperative that they be prepared to handle the coming events and so he got up from the meal put on a servant’s attire and set up the stuff to wash their feet –a common act for a gracious host to provide for honored guests.  He knew he came from God.  He knew that when he completed this horrid task ahead of him that he would return to be with God.  But he really loved these guys he was leaving behind.

He was the lord of this banquet.  He had no servants but the guests.  He himself washed their feet and dried them.  I can only imagine the intensity of that process as he went from person to person.  I wonder what he thought as he washed the feet of Judas.  I wonder what Judas thought.  Yet I believe he was as tender and conscientious with Judas as with John. 

He got to Peter, who immediately refused the honor.  Jesus had already told Peter he would be the foundation stone for the church –his coming kingdom.   The relationship they shared is bared time and again through the writing of the gospels.  It reminds me of my relationship to one daughter in particular.  She could just make me prouder than I could imagine –and she could make me madder than she could imagine.  She was always into something crazy.  She was self-absorbed and yet she was aware of the others.  She would be a caregiver but never a pushover.  And she had a way of getting her way even if she suffered for it.  She would be hesitant maybe a little embarrassed by the display Jesus was giving.  I can get that.

Jesus looked Peter in the eye and said “You can't be part of my team unless I do this.  You'll understand some day.”   And Peter said “Wash my whole body then.”

10 Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

It appears to me that the crucifixion was in the frontal lobe regardless of what else Jesus was doing or saying.  It was right there.  I feel the sadness in his words “you are clean, just not all of you.’  Did they understand?  Not remotely.

13 You call Me the Teacher and the Lord, and you are right in doing so, for that is what I am.

14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, it is your duty, you are under obligation, to wash one another's feet.  AMP

Now I've never been part of a church that observed foot-washing as an ordinance.  But I have been to some observances of foot-washing.  I've heard stories of tricks played and embarrassment felt by young men not wanting to participate because the only socks they owned were too well worn and sometimes hastily mended.  And perhaps that is the very issue Jesus wanted to emphasize in the doing.

Once he told the host at a dinner he attended that he hadn't given him any water, let alone a servant to wash his feet.  Yet the host condemned a forgiven prostitute for washing Jesus' feet with her tears and drying them with her hair, for she didn’t even have the basin and towel of a servant.  I wonder if he thought of that tender display of love and servitude as he washed the feet of his own earthly servants.  I can see him look at Peter and say “You don’t understand now, but you will later.”  I wonder who felt pure pleasure at the gift of kindness and service.  Maybe John or Andrew; maybe Nathaniel or Phillip, but not Peter.  And yet given the choice, Peter chose to be included.

16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

19 “I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. 20 I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me.”

Jesus knew that nothing would change the next 72 hours.  These men that he had worked with and walked with and shared 3 years of life with would be crushed, scattered, terrified.  These men who had faced off demons and watched the dead come to life would have the breath and purpose knocked out of them.  But then they would have to take up the towel and basin and become servants of all.  They would have to lay aside their ambition, pride, jealousy and fear and give all they had for the rest of their lives.  They didn’t understand; but they would.

27 Then after he had taken the bit of food, Satan entered into and took possession of Judas. Jesus said to him, What you are going to do, do more swiftly than you intend.  But nobody reclining at the table knew why He spoke to him or what He meant by telling him this.  AMP

When Judas left, the discussion became more intimate.  Jesus told them that they had to love each other deeply as he had loved them.  That was the only way that people outside would see the connection between Him and them after he was gone.

36 Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”

Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”

37 Peter asked, “Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

38 Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me?”

Peter believed he would.  Jesus knew he would –later, but not now, not yet.  For now, they didn't really understand.  Do we?

Looking Past the Limit

If you have faith . . . . .  Ask and it shall be given . . . . .  If two of you agree as touching anything . . . . .

There are so many opinions and formulas about us for getting God on our side and cornering him into do as we wish.  We call it a life of faith, but is it?

I hear Tevye saying “So what would it hurt if I had a small fortune?”  Of course those of us who have watched the movie many times over know that he never got his ‘small fortune.’  But he did get some answers to both the abstract and the concrete needs.

For a few years now, I have been studying and contemplating and even praying for understanding in the subject of faith.  I have, for most of my spiritual life, felt a call to pray for others.  Sometimes God just zaps that prayer right into the system and the answer surprises even me.  Many times, I struggle with the prayer and the answer.  Sometimes it seems that God has gone on vacation and left his spiritual cell phone at home.  The great need that I am presenting is ignored totally.  What do I do with that?

I know some people have a ‘pat answer,’ something very spiritual sounding, that sits in reserve for those times when other people struggle and perhaps even for the times when they feel neglected or disappointed in the response of God.  I’ve never felt very good about those answers.

So, while this is incomplete, I am sure, I will give you what I feel I have gotten in my study and processing.  It’s nothing that will plug into your life and make your prayers successful –or maybe it is.  That probably depends on what you do with it.  It is not an excuse or a formula.  It’s not a pat answer, though it may become one in time.  Forgive me if that ever happens.

What does it mean to ‘ask in faith, believing’?  I will offer that the most commonly answered prayers in my life seem to be the childlike screams for help.  Yet when I try to give a childlike scream to the situation, it is probably the most ignored.  I think most parents will understand this even if they don’t want to apply it to prayer.

First of all, what do I have faith in?  Do I believe in the ability to frame the request perfectly?  Do I trust the intensity of my cry?  Do I have ultimate faith in the liaison I get to agree on earth for this request?  I must admit I have come through all these in my search for effective prayer.  Sometimes the thought embarrasses me.  The one thing I forget most often to trust is the power, love and righteousness of my God.  Do my requests oppose his character and will?  Am I even willing to consider that in my angst God may be showing love and grace and working in ways I cannot imagine?  I don’t think I am –not in the moment of angst.  In that moment, I just want relief from fear, for it is fear that most frequently drives my prayer life.  Fear of the boogie man around the corner: disease, disappointment, financial stress or ruin for myself or others, is most often foremost in my mind when I pray.  If God doesn’t come through as I envision, I truly believe my life, or that of my loved ones, will be effectively ruined.  What if I believed in the character of God as much as the power of those things I fear?  How would that change my prayer?

Once, while praying in fear of an impending storm, I was asked by God “What if the only way you could truly know me was to go through the storm?”  After thought, I replied, “Just stay with me and let me know you truly are here with me.”  The destruction did not come that day.  But what came was a certain relief from fear.  I still have concerns; I still pray for protection.  But something has changed. 

I asked God for something I really wanted and believed would be right to be granted by Christmas.  I stood before him hurt and neglected feeling and said “I asked and I did not receive.”  I felt God say “So what is next?”  It was as though he was waiting.  Tears began to flow and I said “I choose to trust you.  I choose to trust your power to do that thing; but I also choose to trust your decision not to as one of love and grace and wisdom.”

Frankly, I have always looked at those responses as though they were an excuse for God just not coming through because of our lack of faith or protocol.  But I am beginning to learn that truth and wisdom are as much a part of God’s character as grace and love.  My asking pleases God.  I feel that.  His response often confuses me.  I know he knows that and perhaps it is the most important part of my learning about prayer and faith.  I’m more concerned –as were his disciples- with the quantity of my faith than I am with the character and plan of God.  He said “If you have faith at all, . . . . “  So I have begun to ask myself what it is that I believe in.  I am praying the same prayers, but they are different these days.  I am seeing about the same percentage of direct answers.  Yet I know God is at work in ways I cannot imagine.  I realize that it takes faith to know that and trust that, if the results don’t match my intention and desire, God is still on my side, or theirs; God is at work always.  God can do nothing outside truth and righteousness and love and wisdom.  These are not his limitations, they are his greatest answers. 

And I am learning to wait on the answer instead of throwing a fit sometimes.  I think He sees that as progress –and faith.  I believe that pleases Him.  If He is truly all powerful and love is his character, that is a big step.

what can we do?

what you can and what you will do is pretty relative to what is going on about you. i live in an easy world. somethings that are very easy seem hard because my world is so easy. but here we are in a post holiday cycle of trying to fix our indulgence and everyone seems to be struggling to have the heart for it. i want to say 'waaa.' and remind myself that i lost 50 sumpin pounds a while back, when i'm stuggling with the pain creeping into my joints from my own lack of self discipline of late.
if i lived in an anti-Christian 3rd world country, my choices and my struggles would be quite different. eating more vegetables for my health would not be as big a problem as finding disease free water to drink, but then perhaps i would never know the water i was drinking was infecting and killing me. as it is, i have clean sanitized water and i use a filter to get the stuff that was destroyed in the sanitizing out. i'm sorry, it really is an issue.
when i read hate speech sections that have been added to the various eula agreements recently, i know it's part of my world infection that will eventually destroy my first amendment rights from the non-legistative side but my world is easy and it seems so justified. i have no need for hate speech regulation and yet, i understand what it will do to us -from the inside.
i heard a report on world famine projections based on weather problems world wide and the measures that quite probably will be needed to deal with it in the very near future. my mind said 'hmmm. it is coming. why am i surprised?'
my desire and need are to pull into my God so that I will still be able to hear his voice when hearing that voice may truly bring social and even physical jeopardy. in the beginning of LOTR, the words are spoken "a thousand years passed and some things were forgotten that should not have been forgotten." i hear that a lot in my spirit these days.

She did it for death.

3 Mary took a pound of ointment of pure liquid nard, a rare perfume that was very expensive, and she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. And the whole house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.  AMP

This is not the first time Mary wiped Jesus feet with her hair.  She had crashed a party at a prominent man’s house once before.  At that incident, the question was “Why doesn’t this man know who she is if he is truly from God?”  The reply was that her sins were forgiven and she couldn’t help but show true love. 

Frequently, Jesus did not address the question in a direct way.  I feel that this is because the question may have been a front for bigger questions whether or not the person asking realized that.  Simon, though a prominent leader of the Jewish people, was a follower and believer in Jesus.   But he had some issues with sinners, forgiveness and the weightiness of sin.  No one really asked Jesus why he was allowing Mary’s display, but they were asking each other and getting themselves worked up.  So Jesus replied to the unasked question and stopped the speculation.  You see, when they were touched by a woman like she had been –perhaps even Mary herself- they knew what was happening and why.  But here was this man like no man the world had known.  It was hard to recon with.  They saw it as a sensual act of foreplay.  But Jesus knew what this touch, this gift, was all about.  I see it as a gentle reprimand.  He could have asked Simon if he thought he needed forgiveness, but he used an object lesson instead.

4 But Judas Iscariot, the one of His disciples who was about to betray Him, said,  “Why was this perfume not sold for 300 denarii, which was a year’s wages for an ordinary workman, and that money given to the poor?”  Now he did not say this because he cared for the poor but because he was a thief; and having the purse of the Twelve, he took for himself what was put into it, pilfering the collections. AMP

This time the issue was an all together different matter.  There was no troubled believer on the point of discovery or rejection, the question came from a heart of deceit, from the mouth of a thief.  Jesus didn’t try to deal with the issues in Judas Iscariot’s heart.  He knew them from the beginning.  Judas was an evil plant, designed for an evil work and destined for destruction.  He was necessary to the plan of God.  His heart was not open to change.  Jesus just answered.  “Leave her alone.”

7 But Jesus said, Let her alone. It was intended that she should keep it for the time of My embalming.  You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.  AMP

The little discussion that continued piqued my thoughts.  First of all, this was being kept by Mary to embalm Jesus.  Whether Mary understood the things Jesus had been trying to tell his disciples or not is not clear.  But regardless, in this moment of tenderness, Mary took what was committed to her to be used for his death and used it to honor and please her master in life.  Surely he would have appreciated a gift to the destitute more.  But he appreciated and respected the gift of love.  Perhaps he knew they would never truly embalm his body, so that intent was moot.  Perhaps the use of the ointment before his death was reinforcing for him.  He knew what was coming, but he struggled with it. 

16 At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that they had done these things to him.

Jesus was ushered into the city of Jerusalem riding a young donkey and heralded by the crowds as Messiah.  I believe he allowed himself to take what the moment was even though he knew it was the beginning of the end and that in less than a week they would be crying “Crucify him.”  The disciples didn’t understand.  They had no precedent for what was going to happen.  They had been taught that Messiah would make all things right.  But they didn’t expect him to do it through his death.

24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

27 “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.

I hate being misunderstood.  But it happens all the time.  I don't know if I'm just bad at communicating, or if misunderstanding is just part of our preoccupied culture.  I recall a foot stamping statement from a movie long ago. 'I won't be passed over!'  But guess what.  I've learned and I will learn.  Perhaps the reason Jesus was able to be 'savior to all' and one day will deserve to be 'LORD' over all is because of those verses above.  The purpose of a plant is to produce something willing to die to produce more.  In the dying, it produces food and life energy for many -not just by dying but by living again -and again.  If words die -silent on the wind- they have no use unless they take hold and live again and again.  Books.  How a word can move and reproduce!  But it's not just the words, it is the actions.  Paintings can beget paintings or sculptures or books.  Music can inspire any host of living thought and action.  If you are so afraid to die or share the essence of you, you will die.  We are honored for serving even though the just shall live by faith.

Jesus, in the earthbound state, took a chance on dying.  It was not understood or valued in the act but it was what he came to do.  Yet he understood dying and he honored Mary's gift toward his death.  Perhaps I struggle with the connection to my own doing in time, but I see the connection -vaguely.  To be pleasing and purposeful, I must refuse to allow my reason and selfishness to trump my willingness to put life on the line whether in a gift of money or song or painting or words or simply a lifted burden. I am to accomplish and allow my accomplishment to die so that it may reproduce and bring life and living again and again.  I don't know where it will go or whose eye or heart may be touched.  But in the end, it is why I am here.

21 Days of Indecision.

Our Church is joining others for 21 days of unified prayer.  We were encouraged to seek God's leadership about fasting -self denial- and such.  In the past I have fasted many things during the periods of 'consecration', 'personal renewal' and such.  It may be that this will be read by noone, but I am writing as much for myself as for others anyway so I will post links and if you read, I will welcome comments.
I began the whole thing in solitary fashion.  My head and chest were very noisy yesterday and I believe the expelling is a good thing in my healing process, but it would not have been a good thing for church.  This may well have been by divine design, though I do plan to listen to yesterday's message as soon as it is posted on our church web site.  But in my solitude, I asked the question 'What should I fast?'  The reply was quick and unexpected: YOUR OPINION.
I would like to insert here that often 'fasting' is somewhat if not generally ineffective because we give God an offering that costs us nothing.  For the 21 days, for instance, I usually fast computer games.  I will do the same this year.  But this is not a 'fast' pleasing to my God.  First of all, these games are a waste of time.  I'm not saying they are evil.  But they just keep us busy on useless pursuit.  I have found that sometimes a useless pursuit for my hands frees my brain and keeps me occupied at the same time and that is an occasional benefit.  But as a whole they benefit me nothing, so to give them as an offering to God is pointless.  The only benefit to giving them up is freeing time for Him to speak and me to listen and obey.  Food is another item that I don't feel led to fast.  It is to my personal benefit to control my eating for my health.  This is not the gift God requires of me.  I've begun to sharply curb my TV watching, but I'm coming off a Holiday Halmark binge of enormous proportions, so this is also not a 'fasting unto the LORD' issue.  So what do I offer my God at this time in exchange for the right of effective petition?  I asked.  He answered.
I am a person who likes choices.  I like to have choices.  I like to give choices.  But for 21 days I intend to have no choice where the voice of God is concerned.  This may seem like a slam dunk, but face it, it's not.  I reason.  When my children were young, they 'argued.'  It's the same concept.  I said, "Pick up your room." They wanted to know if that meant this or if that meant that.  They knew what I wanted, but they didn't really want to do what I wanted.  I said, "You cannot go there."  They began to 'reason' with me.  I called it arguing.  For 21 days, I believe God is saying, "Give it up and just do what I say, Donna."
It is my opinion that my days won't change drastically.  He's not going to tell me to stop cussing.  He's not going to tell me to stop going to the casino.  He's not likely to tell me not to clean house, teach my students, or change clothes.  But if He does, I hope to respond immediately without argument.  I don't intend to wait on a word to get busy each day, but I will actively invite Him to be my LORD and with his grace and help, I will hear and obey even in the simple small things.  There are times when I hear Him and my reasoning dismisses his command.  I want to give that up for 21 days.