Sometimes God says 'Speak'

I am left with so much to process this day. Some of it is probably not mine to process. Regardless, my mind will not leave it be. Am I trying to work many things out in my head that don't need to be worked out?  I don't know if this is God's destraction from worldly things that would hinder me, or if it is a distraction from the enemy to keep me off balance in my spirit. I am more than annoyed at what I am seeing done by certain people who believe they are serving God. I see a spirit that is contrary to the Holy Spirit, at least that's what it feels like. 
Part of my mind says 'do not criticize people trying to serve God.' Part of my mind says 'do not step away from the voice of the Spirit within you.' So the prayer comes out of me: "God close my mouth when I should not speak. Open my mouth when I should and fill it with your words, not my own."
I am reminded of a time when my three oldest daughters were young. From my work spot in the kitchen, I heard one of my daughters screaming and yelling and stomping. She was known to be a fit thrower, and so I headed out. When I approached the back door the scene was very strange. My oldest daughter and youngest daughter were sitting on small chairs focused on the middle daughter who was screaming incoherently, stomping her feet, shaking all over, pacing back and forth and pointing her finger repeatedly at her sisters. As I came through the door to the porch, all three girls stopped and looked at me. Rhonda held up her hand toward me as if to motion 'stop' and said quietly "I was preaching." It was comical and yet, . . .
One of the things I realized is that if the Holy Spirit is not speaking through me, my words will eventually be incoherent or ineffective. If my speaking is to matter at all, it must not be me giving the impression of being a preacher. Sometimes God says 'open your mouth and speak', and I do and it's powerful. Sometimes God says 'no, not now'. Sometimes God says 'speak' and I do and then I keep speaking when it becomes my words and not his. It's like when Moses was told to speak to the Rock. He spoke but then he went on to rail on the people. Though what he said was true, it was not what God wanted him to say and he was condemned for not setting God apart in front of those people. Instead of allowing God to change the minds of the people with his ways, Moses tried to change their minds with his words and for that he was denied the right to lead the people into the Promised Land.
I think I used to see that as harsh, but what I am beginning to understand is that God must be followed explicitly through the Spirit, not the mind, if we are to speak his words. I have never asked to be God's spokesman. I love to study the Bible, I love to put words into sentences and paragraphs, but I do not think of myself as a preacher or a prophet. And yet sometimes God says 'speak'. 

Worth the Climb

I was looking for some pictures when I stumbled upon a great memory.  After my husband and I started going back to the mountains I had wanted to fine a spot where my parents and I camped when I was young.  We finally got there and though much was unfamiliar, roads had changed and a wilderness gate was erected, enough was the same that I was thrilled just to be in the area.  We walked down to the lake the day after we arrived.  Even when I was young, we couldn’t drive all the way to the lake.  The lake itself was as though nothing had changed at all in all those years. I still remember the makeshift raft I built and floated to the middle of the very deep lake.  My parents were ready to jump into that frigid water and rescue me, but after a bit of thought and awkward engineering, I made it back without that.

The day after we went to the lake, we decided to see if we could make it up to the blue ridge.  We didn’t realize that the trail that forked off to take us to the lake, would have led us to the ridge overlooking Rocky Mountain National Park had we taken the main trail. 
I had a topo map.  I like maps and think I can read them well. That little fact has brought much laughter and derision from family.  At any rate, we struck out cross country for what the map seemed to indicate as a possible way up to the ridge.  It was grueling.

We’d been hiking most all day when the way got steep and gravelly, which is usually an indication that the top of something is near.  My son in law lay down on the last grassy patch before the way became quite barren.  I lay down as well.  We were both spent.  The others went on while we rested and visited and insisted they catch us on the way down.

I’d had enough rest to sit up and breath more normally.  Phillip was still prone when I heard my husband call from the crest of our resting place.

“You’ve got to come” he cried out as he scrambled down the mountain toward us. “I’ll help you.”

That was enough to peak Phillip’s attention as well as mine and we both began crawling up the steep incline at a forced but weary pace.  Louis caught up with me and I sensed his excitement.  I asked him and he said “I didn’t make it all the way; I wanted you to come.” At the crest, my daughter appeared and waited anxiously for her husband.  And so we both stepped up onto the ridge.

It was all that I could do to stand in the wind on top of the ridge and yet the beauty was amazing.  The world stretched before us, in hills and valleys, soaring peaks stretching out in all directions as far as the atmosphere allowed and our eyes could perceive. 

To the east, well past the mountains and meadows of Rocky Mountain National Park, the earth began to flatten some and stretch away into the plain. To the west and south, range after range of mountains ended in the oblivion of distance.  To the north, the ridge continued a good distance to the long peak of Cascade Mountain and finally gave way to the snowy undulations of the never summer range.  It was mystical and magical, ancient and new.  Holding our hats with one hand and digging our walking sticks into the hard windswept earth with the other we explored the ridge until it was apparent we must head back to camp or darkness would hinder our travel and bring a chill we were not prepared for. Regardless of our age or size, we were all children of one father.

In our explorations, we discovered the right way down.  The Wolverine Trail went a short distance to the east of Lost Lake and back to the wilderness gate where we had our camp.  It was dusk when we saw the sign for the spur trail going to the lake and knew we were almost back to this little abode we had stretched out in the forest.

We tumbled into camp just after darkness had arrived and set about the comfort of a warm campfire and food.  For the remaining days we shared, laughed, reminisced and planned the next part of our adventure; a vision which would require more equipment and time.

Seek and you will find

The greatest tactic of Satan since the Garden of Eden has been speaking the word of God sarcastically, partially, or out of context to the point that people without God are left hopeless and the people of God are left confused or without motivation. With his guidance, people have learned to confuse God's word to the point that it is useless in their lives and ineffective in the lives of others. God's word becomes the unattainable, the impossible, the ludicrous.

Some choose to ignore themselves and judge others; some choose to ignore others and judge themselves. Either approach is damaging.  God's word is a light to shine into darkness; it is not a club to wound us. We were wounded by our transgressions, but Jesus took the wound upon himself. We were bruised by our iniquities, but Jesus took the bruise upon himself. We deserve to be punished, but he was punished from the beginning so we could have peace.  He took all of our sin. To us it was a moment in history, to God it was a done deal.

He is creator-redeemer. Isaiah, years before the birth of Jesus, said he was bruised for our iniquities –past tense. In Genesis, God told Eve she would have a child that would crush Satan's head. In the New Testament we are told Jesus was crucified before the foundation of the world. He created us anyway. If he went to that trouble, how can we assume he would not meet us or that he would be the author of our confusion? If he would be willing to devise salvation before he founded the Earth, how could he not be searching for our souls every moment?

It is not wrong to read or listen to advice or explanations by others, but we need most often, to get alone with God's word and let it explain itself to our spirits. He is anxious to do that. He will do that. He will not tell you something that denies the essential parts of his being. He will not leave you in condemnation with out redemption.  But there are those who will say we must follow other people’s understanding so we won’t become misled.  That puts a lot of credit on people who historically and characteristically blow it!  Pride comes in quickly when one becomes exalted to spiritual leader status.  Listen, learn, but then spend time alone with God letting him apply it to your individual heart.

If we seek him totally and purely, we will find him. If we are searching the scriptures to prove a point or to support our lifestyle, regardless of what that is, we will succeed, but we will not find God. We don't have to complicate it. Get alone. Get your Bible. Ask God to meet you there, and walk in.  It will work. The word of God will not ignore you, it will purify you. The word of God will not excuse you, it will restore you.  The word of God will not condemn you, it will redeem you.  Perhaps that is why Jesus taught “The pure in heart will see God.”  If you go wanting to get something other than God's word, you will find what you are looking for – but you will miss the truth.  If you do not want to find the true God, you will find confusion.

If you don't have time to meet with him, be honest and come back when you do. He will respect your honesty and he will honor your return when you're ready to receive his truth. God is not flighty or impatient. That being said, he knows the truth of who we are and what we seek. He understands the heart. He is already where we are going.

That is how I experience it; that is how I understand it; that is how I see it.  I'm not the end of all wisdom, just a seeker.  I hope it blesses you in some way.