Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I come and see where you stand but I don't have any words that seem adequate or interesting or don't detract in some way.  I care and I pray for the needs as best I can.Monday began like most days with a trip to the bathroom and creeping light that stole into my little world and inspired me with lots to be accomplished.  Coffee and a banana to start.  Later, juice and a pear maybe.Today I bless you and ask for your success and growth as an intelligent, creative individual.  I wish for you challenges enough to make your life interesting and solutions enough to invigorate your mind and strengthen your heart.

Control Z

Such a sad realization is the moment when you realize that life is not fitted with a control Z.  Remember when mom and dad would find every excuse to let the kid who was learning have a 'do over'?  We grow up kind of expecting that if we're clumsy or haven't learned yet that we can just call it a practice and we behave as though that is true of life until one day we look back and find it all counted.  I thank God for grace, but the mistakes of life still sadden me.

sight unseen

So for the second time recently, we bought a movie sight unseen.  This was a keeper.  Definitely worth the price to own.

non-chalantness

Last summer, I bought a brown scarf billed as a cover up in the swimwear clearance.  Well it looked like a regular scarf, but the wispy wonder inspired my mind.  I've used it in a variety of ways and until last night, I've used it fairly successfully.
Last night I went to the performing arts center here in town for a UA Fort Smith redition of South Pacific with a dear friend who recently lost her soul mate.  All in all it was a good performance and a good time.  Well I've worn the scarf as a over skirt with a knit calf length skirt of the same color before.  I tie it in a cute little knot slightly to the side and let it drape about, hanging just below the waste.  It adds a little femanine kick to a brown skirt and brown shirt with brown boots and a brown jacket.  So last night, it seemed like what to wear.  It makes me feel good.  Or it did.
After picking up the tickets at the 'will call' booth and walking over to where we would be entering when they opened the doors, I ran into my son-in-law's parents.  I introduced them to my friend and we chatted for awhile amiably during the wait. I noticed a distracted smile a couple of times on the man's face but went on without a second thought.  When the doors opened they excused themselves and I looked down - thankfully - to see the wispy wonder lying all about my feet.  With as delicate a smile as possible, I stepped aside and picked it up.  My friend said "Well, girl, you're just dropping right out of your clothes."
So much for a fashion statement.  As I sat in the dimly lit auditorium awaiting the beginning of the musical, I wondered how long it had been there and what relation that might have had to the awkward smile I kept seeing.

No more pot of glue

When I was young, my dad did the bulk of the cooking at our house.  My mom was an exceptional cook at what she was good at, but as a rule, dad was a better cook.  He had a way with potatoes and salads and goulash type stuff that few could equal.  One thing he made better than anyone else, in my estimation, was macaroni and cheese.  I loved the way he made it all gooey and stringy with layers of sharp aged cheddar and sour cream.  Course ground black pepper and butter gave it just the right amount of umph!  But when my children were small, they hated it.  I tried making it with mild cheese and half and half, but the would not have it.  So eventually I gave in to the cheesy mac culture.  Tonight I made it the old way and it was as awesome as I remember it, except that the cheese was grated and didn't string as much.  Louis liked it too.  No more pot of glue for me... That's what I'm sayin'.

Folsom prison. It's what's for breakfast.

I hear the change a comin. It's comin round the bend. But I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when.
I woke early this morning and started working voratiously on cleaning up my files. Then I ended up in FB - go figure. There I found the beautiful people having their dinner in the dining car. There I saw that the birds are singing and people are moving in and out of various ventures of life. But I'm stuck in Folsom Prison. My mama told me to be good - yeah, but did I listen? Nope. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Now that man in Reno is buried and his family has these wonderful memories of him. Justified, right. And I deserve what I get, right? They can forget that I exist or hate me deliciously. It doesn't matter to anyone. Cause I'm stuck in Folsom Prison - Time keeps movin' on.
I'm not really a fan of country music, I just find it useful sometimes.

Are you excited yet??

I went to sleep before the news really got started.  Stumbled to bed around midnight and was wide awake before 4 AM.  It's how I roll.  That's why I don't go to bed early. -(just FYI)  But then I've gotten some needed file work done on the computer and cleaned my inbox some. Are you excited yet??

so scarey and so exciting

I will break for an intercessors meeting and then hopefully hit the table again polishing a beautiful piece of rock and affixing lovelies to a brass cylindar.  That part is so scarey and so exciting.

design strength

Been up for a couple of cups of coffee and some major changes to a piece of purple rock.  I'm off to gather design strength for a couple of sweet little projects one which is struggling and the other which is going as planned so far.  I hope your day is blessed.

OH yeah. It is good.

Almond butter and Key Lime Pie Yogurt.  It's what's for breakfast.  (OH yeah.  It is good.)

Newsboys-Secret Kingdom (with lyrics)

Secret Kingdom


So yeah, it is obnoxiously cliche. So much so that you know that it was intended.

Go figgur

It was perhaps the prettiest Christmas tree I've ever had.  I didn't even take a picture of it and there it is cut to pieces in my living room.  But no fire with this one yet, it was also the freshest tree I've ever had and it will be some time before it will burn well.  But then this is the warmest winter we've had in some time.  Go figgur.

Sorry folks

Sorry folks, I was not trying to start a new religion.  I simply view the amount of emotion and energy that I and others place on stuff of limited consequence and took a mental train for a moment.  I believe in a true Heaven based on the Bible and on grace - how else could we even get there.  Did not mean to offend anyone.  Be blessed.

old injury

I have an old injury.  Like the old body injuries, the heart injuries come back to cause us pain when an 'affront' comes through.  I want to scream and kick and let everyone know I hurt and why.  I want to tell the old story of the injury and how much it crippled me.  But today, I will let grace be grace.  And perhaps if I can have grace for you, the grace that brings joy and healing will help me till it passes once more.  If that doesn't work, I'm moving someplace where there is no phone or internet and spending the rest of my life living off the earth and laying on a beach.  -Blessings.

It was enough

I walked out at a little before 3 and we had thick fog.  I went out at 4:15 and the sky and clouds had thinned.  I saw a meteor within 15 seconds. After giving that one a name, I waited another minute and saw a faint one in the thin clouds.  It was 34 degrees outside. I retreated to a warm house, a cup of hot coffee and a blanket.  I will say I watched a small -very small- portion of the 2012 Quadrantid.  It was enough.

only one resolution

I made a new years list: 
       I need to keep the weight off. 
       I will fast weekly. 
       I need to start an exercise routine. 
       I need to tie loose ends together on various projects. 
       I need to find a way to finish the house. 
       I need to renew my dedication to steady spiritual growth. 
       I will use up the excess or give it away. 
       I will become healthier and stronger so I can be a blessing instead of a burden. 
       I will hike a portion of the OHT. 
       I will renew my relationship to the lake. 
The list goes on. -And on.
But when I considered making New Year's Resolutions, I only made one.  I will find joy in my life and family.  I will not waste one more day in anger, disappointment and self absorbed recollection.
I will take joy in the thought that a person wanted to spend time with me instead of hurt that they broke a promise.  What is that anyway?  Life is life.  I will not make excuses.  I may call them on it at times, but I will not waste a moment in regret.  If it's not worth the confrontation, it's not worth brooding over. And then when the necessary confrontation has ended, it will be over.  I will try not to cause anger and I will refuse to harbor it. 
I'm not - simply not letting it go on in my heart and mind any longer.  I want to be a happy old woman some day.  Okay, I'm already old.  I want to be a happy old woman.  I don't need to impress, but to serve is a good thing.  I've made jokes about being 'even more amazing' but if I am amazing at all, I want it to be because I am kind and good natured in the long haul.  Notice I didn't say 'sweet.'  I am me after all.
I've already had to confront it.  A person did something very wrong to me.  If I were to tell it, you would agree that I have the 'right' to be mad.  I dumped it on my husband last night, he agreed and was saddened.  Then I thought, "That's enough, Donna."  I will make a call and clear the air.  Then it will be over - on my part.  I've decided that if I continue to tuck it into a soft spot and brood over it, there will never be an end to offences.  My internal enemy will be sure I have abundant and constant opportunities for distress.  But the joy of the Lord is my strength and I'm tired of being weak.  I'm unpacking the garment of praise and putting it on.  Call me a fool if you like.  If someone spills life or throws up on my precious garment, I shall wash it and put it right back on.
I may be considered foolish, uncaring, phoney, or down right crazy, but I'm done with the twisted heart thing.  If anyone twists my heart, I hope they only get love and laughter.  I shall pray for those in distress.  It's all I have to offer anyway.  I will listen when I can, but I will not carry the burden myself.  I shall dump it at the feet of the only one who can sort it out, and dance away.  My call is to intercession, not to brooding.
It is a big resolution.  I am so earthbound that it may be a nearly impossible resolution, but it is my resolution and I will have to bear it with faith in one much stronger and wiser than myself.
Blessings, friends.  Happy 2012 and if it all ends on December 21st may we have spent the year in joy and service.