Family Ties

My reading this morning took me into the story of David and Goliath.  There are many issues that are significant on a more global plain, but I got to looking at relationships –especially family.

David was brought to the palace to play for Saul who was inwardly tormented.  We’ll leave that, and all its surrounding questions, be for this round.  The music worked.

A person in the palace recommended David when they started talking about a musician.  The description he gave is epic:  "He’s an accomplished musician, he’s brave and strong, an excellent warrior, refined, intelligent and, oh yeah, he’s really good looking."

Now I’m sure a King isn’t going to want a moron, someone who is physically repulsive or totally lacking in social grace.  But he’s looking for a musician not a soldier or public envoy.  I guess the description kind of grabbed me this morning. Can you tell?

As I said, the music worked and Saul brought him on permanently.  He also made him an armor bearer and as a youth, David went with him on his campaigns.  David also went back and helped with overseeing his fathers flocks –especially when his older brothers were called to serve the army. 

After one such visit home, David returned to find a 10 ft Goliath stomping about trying to call a champion out of the army of Israel to fight with him for ultimate rule of the territory: “We win, you are our slaves.  Your nation is no more.  You win, we are your slaves.”  He was kind of hard to miss –even though a valley stretched between the two armies.

So David went from group to group asking what would be the reward to the man who fought and defeated Goliath.  It was curious that when he got the answer, he continued on to the next group of soldiers.  I’ve considered it from a different angle in this reading.  Perhaps David’s intent was to call out the champion in one of these soldiers, to make someone understand that he could be that champion and bring the victory to his homeland.  But his brother Eliab didn’t see it that way.

Eliab told him off.  He called him conceited, a useless onlooker.  He told him to go home and take care of the sheep.  David’s reply was “I didn’t do anything wrong.  Can’t I even talk?”  And then he continued on.

So one of my questions this morning is why did Eliab react the way he did?

Was he embarrassed by his ‘little’ brother?  Did he feel humiliated, like the family would be ridiculed because of David’s behavior?

Or perhaps, he was jealous and offended.  Samuel had obviously been impressed with him and yet he was passed over.  His youngest brother was a self-made prodigy, an accomplished musician who had been taken into the palace.  His ‘little’ brother was a fearless shepherd who had killed predators in his shepherding and told about it.  He wrote poetry that would span the centuries. He was well mannered and refined: the spoiled brat that had been chosen to be the next king –Yeah, right.  And he was really good looking.

The third consideration was that perhaps Eliab was afraid.  He was a soldier; Saul was his King.  David his youngest brother had been publicly anointed by the most powerful man in the country to replace Saul.  This strong giant was threatening his freedom and livelihood.  Strong men often erupt when they feel fear.  If they lived through Goliath, they might not live through the attention David was calling to himself and his family.

Perhaps it was ‘all of the above.’

It made me think about the reactions that come about when the common is confronted with the uncommon superior exceptional.  Do I rejoice in the elevation of people with a little sharper idea or presentation?  Do I celebrate the uncommon, out of the box, un-comfort zone efforts of others?  Do I worry about my own position and future when I see someone willing to step to the edge of a precipice while holding my hand?  Do I cry out “Out of line!” when my world is out of control?

I know it’s not the story and hypothetical situations have no resolution, but what if Eliab had been willing to step into Goliath by faith?  But then, maybe that’s why he was not chosen.

Just my thoughts on this day from 1 Samuel 17.  Blessings.

How long will you mourn?

My blogging has entered the realm of journaling my daily realizations based on my time in the scriptures.  As a back up disclaimer, I am a daughter of God.  I have been so for 49 years, yet I must grow constantly toward his truth and way for me.  Sometimes my time in the bible and prayer leaves me with more questions than answers –sometimes it crowds the answers in so fast that I fear I will miss something or misunderstand something.  I have learned that God is concerned with me and all my dysfunctional stuff!

If you choose to walk this trail with me at all, you will see imperfection and struggle.  Not pretty?  Not in a moment, but God is there in the truth of it.  I think that is perhaps the truth in my studies the past couple of days.  Lot’s of questions.  Lots of shadowy truth, but still truth and I’m supposing, because of my experience with God, that it will grow clearer in days to come.

1 Samuel 16 "How long will you mourn for Saul?"  

Samuel didn't know Saul or care about him. In fact, in the beginning he didn't like the idea of making anybody King. But he learned to love Saul in his own way, even with his frustration. Though Saul had not died physically, their relationship died when God rejected Saul as king. Samuel mourned the loss.  God became displeased with Samuel’s mourning and told him to get back into service.

This passage left me asking myself a lot of questions.  What have I learned to love and won’t let go of when God says “Move on.”?  What am I mourning that is interfering with the next step God has for me?  I believe my pain is important to God, but if I don’t trust him with that pain and keep on obeying and seeking, it will drive me away from the Father I love and need more than this earth –and Earth is all I know.

Some of the things that are hardest to learn to deal with or accept become things we just can’t let go of.  We get sidetracked on the way home when it ends and sit down beside the road and mourn.  If we are God’s own, he always has a place he wants to take us –physically and spiritually.  Samuel had a colossal task ahead.  He would establish the line of the true king within days.  And yet he was at a standstill: not home, not going.

Samuel protested when God told him to go down to Bethlehem and anoint a son of Jesse to be king. This made me wonder if Samuel was afraid for his life or if he just didn't see the point because of the way things turned out with Saul. Was it fear or discouragement?

From the time he was a child, Samuel got used to hearing and obeying God. This seems to me to be the first time Samuel openly questioned God. God did not reprimand Samuel, but he gave him a solution to his fear and told him to go.  Then he promised to guide Samuel through the process. Samuel obeyed.
On a short side trail, there are things about my life that I don't like but I must take ownership. First I must own that God is my God and everything that means to my life. Then I must take ownership of my obedience or disobedience to God's commands and to the consequences good and bad of my behavior.  It appears to me that Saul never owned God as his God.  He always referred to him as ‘your God’ never as ‘my God.’ He was empowered to do the job of king, but never sought the personal power of God’s relationship.  What a contrast to David.  David did just as much wrong in his life –maybe more, but he was always searching for a greater relationship with his God.  Also, it appears that Saul never owned his actions toward God's commands, good or bad, and the result to his life and the kingdom he ruled.  He always blamed others.  Just before Samuel left him the last time, he did say “I have sinned” but it appears only a segway into “honor me before the people.” If we put him on human scales, he weighed in pretty good or, at the least, not a bad man, but God was not pleased with him.

So much to think on in this journey.

Returning to God

My vast experience off course has honed my abilities for ‘returning to God’.  I’m sure –given my history and my nature- that I will have ample opportunities to further adjust my thoughts and practices in that area.  In fact, returning to anything worthwhile is a struggle once you veer off course.

The amazing thing about returning to God is that we struggle with the concept for a time – long or short- and often lose sight of the way back.  It can seem quite daunting or nearly impossible to return to truth, the way, the source of life.  The junk between us and the light can seem immovable.  Yet the way back is always a surprise.  It begins with one word.  The word may be ‘help’ or ‘Papa’ or ‘LORD’ or ‘save’ or any number of others.  That one word begins the process and we are there.

The legalist in me fights against that.  It wants the human to make changes, to slog back through the mess that took me away.  It sets conditions and parameters and barriers to get over.  The human asks “What if?”

Yesterday I spent awhile in Ezekiel 23 and then in the book of Hosea. These are stories of betrayal. In both cases God used marriage and infidelity to illustrate the way his people treat him. It’s a nasty sordid story of wandering, bad priorities, selfish living and then loving our degradation.  Our relationship to the world brings confusion, produces unwanted offspring, and destroys honor and respect both inwardly and outwardly.  Our concentration is on human ability, human right, human suffering, human desire. Once there, the solutions we come up with become as despicable as the problem has become.  It’s really hard to look at.  What we followed was not only useless, it was harmful and became increasingly repulsive and more destructive.

Yet God shows undeserved, unrequited, and incomparable love in spite of evil. Both of these stories explain how redemption is based on true, enduring love, not on the deeds of the one being redeemed. Still, he shows the sorrow and affect of evil actions within the lives of those who betray his love and ignore his grace.
The invitation is "Return to your God; your sins have been your downfall. Take words with you and return."  The amazing part is the one word that starts it completes it regardless of the time involved and regardless of the word that we begin our sin offering with.  God knows the heart; turning back to him cannot be faked.  And so it begins with one word.
"We will never again say 'our God' to what our own hands have made because in you the fatherless find compassion.” 

Sometimes we learn the ultimate lessons.  At first when I read the above verse, it seemed disjointed and unbalanced. A further glance gave me too many thoughts and applications to put down here. But I will say that God is the ultimate Father and being without his presence and love for any time at all is demoralizing and brings hopelessness.  Any idol we set up –and we do set them up- will lead us to that state of hopeless living.  But God will tear them down with one word and draw the helpless child back to himself.
God says “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely.” Today we think God’s greatest healing would be cancer or MS or some other such thing.  We have so many confusing diseases, so many physical disorders and handicaps.  Yet God promises to heal our waywardness and love us freely.  That contemplation is an amazing place to go and stay awhile.

The book of Hosea ends with this declaration: “Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand this: the ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them but the rebellious stumble in them.”  

I ask myself just what the realization means.  It’s a story of grace, a story of redemption, of love so amazing that it uncompromisingly reclaims what is ultimately compromised.  I can walk in that.

But what is the place of stumbling for the rebellious in God’s way?  Perhaps it is the point that we can add nothing but a word and God will love us back into relationship and strip off our dishonor and clothe us in his righteousness.  Perhaps is it the concept that waywardness is just not a big deal because of grace. I don’t know the answer.  I’d rather avoid either bump and walk always with my God and Father.

Seeking a Sign

This morning, by a design not my own, I landed in Isaiah 7. 

"The hearts of the nation of Judah were shaken." It appeared all their foes were joining together to destroy them.  

Sometimes what we see in the natural is overpowering and will shake us if we do not or can not look to the spiritual. 

The prophet Isaiah assured them that their enemies had joined forces and were descending and planning their ruin, but he added 

"Yet this is what the Sovereign Lord says, ‘It will not happen.’" 

He told Ahaz of the eventual defeat of the his enemies, and added "If you don't stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."

Then God spoke directly to Ahaz and told him to ask for a sign. 

Ahaz had obviously been taught not to ask for signs because that is testing God. He replied "I will not!" and received a harsh reprimand from Isaiah.
“The LORD himself will give you a sign.” It's an interesting comment that caused me a lot of thought this morning as it has in the past.  I've never understood how these fit together so I asked for understanding. Maybe I'm starting to see it differently.

There are times when God wants to show us what he will do for us.  He desires to strengthen our trust and confidence for the battle ahead.  He is the victor and yet if we don’t stand firm in our faith, we will not be standing when the fighting is over even if our side wins.  

Faith is given to us to use against the “What if?” and “Oh my” of life.  Trust says “God is strong, faithful and present,” but faith says “I will stand and see God’s victory even if the battle I fear comes in the way I fear it most.”  Sometimes God wants to prepare us by showing us what he can do in the small things so we can trust in the huge things.  So he told Ahaz “Ask me!”  

Ahaz was not listed among the Godly kings.  God did give him that present victory, but Ahaz didn’t learn to trust in God.  How sad that he wouldn’t ask!

I see that there is a difference between a self-willed desire to have God’s support for our agenda, and a worried seeker asking for God’s reassurance in a test. Jesus said “A corrupt generation seeks a sign and no sign will be given except my death and resurrection.”  But even Jesus spoke of signs in a positive way.  The spirit knows the difference.  The flesh does not.

Perhaps I’ve considered the statement of Jesus from the wrong perspective.  Perhaps when a corrupt generation or individual tries to force God into their own plan and requires a sign that it will be as they want, they receive a different type of sign or none at all. And so I think the sign was given to Ahaz and all his people. 

Can God save us in the most desperate to times? Will God save us in spite of all that we have done and all we see developing?  The view Isaiah first gave Ahaz was the long term effect of the evil of his enemies and how it would destroy each of them without respect to his own evil.  But when Ahaz refused to ask for a sign even though God spoke the command, he was given a view of God’s ultimate redemption of the thing that causes all other defeats.  It was a faith changing, mind altering statement that would live on in the hearts of all young girls and an entire nation from that day forward.  And yet, not for Ahaz.  He just got the temporary fix he wanted and lived out his life as a King that did evil in God's eyes. My heart and spirit are stirred greatly. 

I shall continue asking for wisdom and understanding. 

The Aim is Change

I have had a hard and busy summer.  I've written several things, but not posted.  It is time for me to begin writing and posting again.  As in the past, this is my own thinking process based on my own study and growth.  It is not meant to be demeaning or conflagration toward any other person.  I'm not preaching, I'm just writing.

The aim is change.  In Fiddler on the Roof, there is a line where Tevya says “Send us the cure, we’ve got the sickness already.”  I laugh –sort of, but there is a deep truth here.  Who is God after all.  Three of his primary names directly translated mean “That which is” or “he who exists.”  “I am that I am.”  In the beginning was God –just God and the WORD was with God and He was God and the Spirit moved across the depths.”  Side note: all of the names of God are in plural form –all of them.

Who are we?  Something he created and not even on the 1st day.  But we are the first creation mentioned as given a separate will from that of the creator.  Mankind was allowed to choose to go on as he was –in perfect state and perfect harmony with the plan and purpose of God- or to choose a lesser personal goal.  As I see it in scripture, Satan was not given the right of choice, but he chose to rebel against God’s plan and purpose anyway.

So what is sin?  Is it eating something forbidden?  Is it giving in to deception?  Satan indicated to Eve that God was giving them less than the best by restricting them.  They disobeyed and life changed. Struggle, conflict, disease, deterioration, betrayal, jealousy, injustice, death, living separate from God became the new normal.  God’s best was gone.  We had the sickness already.  So we go on from there.  Human kind would not seek God for two generations.

What about God?  What was he doing about all this during the time that man was going on with the “I’ll handle this my way” routine?  The Bible says that Jesus, known to us by John as “the WORD” was crucified before the world was founded.  Before Satan had a chance to rebel and then deceive man and woman, God already had the cure in place.  Enoch walked with God by faith and didn’t die –but he was changed.  Noah found grace in God’s eyes because of his belief which led to obedience in a much more questionable task than not eating a piece of fruit. By faith he condemned the world that did not believe. Faith is being revealed as God’s plan for redemption.  Men are beginning to seek God through faith –but some are not.  The gap widens.

And now here we are today with people asking “Why is this wrong or why is that sin?”  The truth is that anything that sets itself against God’s plan and purpose, anything that doesn’t measure up to his truth and being is sin.  Anything short of his Glory produces death, disease, envy, quarreling, deterioration and separation from God.  It’s not about this group’s definition of specific acts or about one person’s quest for freedom from restraint.  It’s not even about God holding back the forces of the universe for individuals who please him and raining misery on those who don't.  It’s not about what you or I want or about what we think is right and just.  The question of sin is much more basic.  We have sin ingrained in this mortality.  We have the sickness already.

Jesus came to bring us back to a unified purpose with God’s original plan.  Some people don’t want that.  They don’t want to be fixed on the inside, they just want the circumstance brought on by sin to be fixed.  They call on God for all kinds of things, but not to submit to his purpose and plan through trust.  I don’t know that we can even do that in the beginning and yet he offers grace through faith to the ungodly because of his own sacrifice.  The bible says that because there was nothing greater, he swore by himself –I am that I am- and established a new covenant –see Noah, Abraham, and Moses- of Grace based on the sacrifice of Jesus, before time itself.  It is only after the new covenant becomes effective in us personally, through forgiveness and redemption, that we begin to see the real sickness of sin and allow the Holy Spirit to refashion us into God’s character.  He has the cure.  Most of us don’t know we have the sickness.