And Yet I Believe

The minute you think you have God figured out, he does something that shoots your understanding to shreds.  How arrogant of us to claim that He must do it our way because we read and understand! 

I totally believe in healing by Jesus Christ as part of the atonement and yet I struggle with RA and allergies.  I deal often with kidney infections.  God has not chosen to heal me of these as yet.  I’ll bet you that even your best guru could not change the mind of God. 

He has spoken to me at various times.  He has healed me and done amazing miracles at my simple request.  He has not chosen to heal my infirmity as yet and he may never do that.  I listen for the word in my spirit but he has not spoken healing for these yet.  I will trust him anyway and I will still believe in the prayer of faith to heal the sick.

We who have studied the New Testament know about Paul’s infirmity.  He was a disciple of Jesus after the fact who healed and even brought people back from the dead, but when he asked for his physical limitation to be removed God said “No” and even gave him an explanation.  Yet there are those who would condemn that in a man today as a lack of faith or understanding.  I think that is a pretty arrogant stand –considering all. 

God will never fit in a box I make for him.  I’m pretty sure he won’t fit in your box either.  He reveals his will to us out of kindness and grace.  He heals, restores, and redeems.  But sometimes it does not come out like we ‘believe.’  The question is will we continue to believe, serve and pray.  Will we listen and ask when we don’t hear what we want to hear?  Will we rejoice at the greatness of God when we lose a child or a spouse?  Will we fight through and out of darkness into his light not the light of another?

Years ago I met a man who had CP.  He had gone to every Bible based faith healer in the country and some out of the country.  He almost lost his faith in God –a God who refused to heal him when he had witnessed others being healed.  Then he began to ask God why he would not heal him –and listen.  God promised to give him every need, but told him that his CP would be the vehicle with which he would glorify God.  God gave him the right to an excellent education and the faith and ability to build a very successful business in spite of his CP.  Then he brought him a beautiful wife with no physical limitations and gave him several children none of which had his disease.  He was a motivational speaker nationwide and a testimony to the love, grace and provision of God in the harshest of situations.  He led many to faith in Christ and prayed for healing and restoration all over the world.  God did not take away his CP.  Yet some would say he had no faith or understanding?

I value the prayer and understanding of others.  But I value much more the voice of God because I know it is in hearing his words while searching to understand his written word that I grow closer to him and become a vessel he uses in my small sphere of influence.  That small sphere is much greater to me than the huge ministry of some, simply because it is my responsibility and the place where God has commissioned me to serve.  I want to do it with understanding; I want to do it with grace.  I don’t mean to be a rebel, but I want to be God’s servant even if others don’t approve, agree, or understand.  Jesus was crucified as a rebel because he would not rebel against the one who mattered most.  I will say with David “My God will vindicate me for my cause is just.”

I have learned to know and trust God through times when I screamed and cried “Why won’t you help me?”  Once I said to him “I would not treat my child that way.”  And yet because my heart was honest and broken, he did not reject me for my words.  I have learned that this life is short.  God does not look at things like we do.  We cannot make him our servant, though he loves us so incredibly as to send his son to die for us because that is the only way righteousness and grace could meet.  We cannot make him succumb to our reasoning and values though his heart is touched deeply with our pain or grief.  He does the miraculous, but he does not do it with human wisdom or understanding and the minute you put him in a box, you can bet he will explode your little flimsy box.

And yet I believe.

Psalm 115:3; Isaiah 43:13; Isaiah 46:10  

The Problem of Disrespect

The Problem of Disrespect

My father was my hero.  His mother was his.  But he always said his dad only taught him 3 things:  how to fight, how to drink and how to cuss.  He said they could share a dirty story, but his father never taught him about God or morals.  As I see it my father hunted for reasons to respect my grandfather but came up short most of the time.  And yet, for all his doubt, my father never spoke of his dad in a demeaning manner other than the small, sad references above.  I’ve come to believe those revealed an ache of the heart, rather than disrespect for his father.

But recent events have made me ask “What happens when a nation of people feel they have good cause to disrespect their parents?”  Disrespect procreates within the person and then within the society.  Compliance and even emulation are not respect.  Children may learn to obey and even try to be like ‘mom or dad’ without ever learning to honor their parents.  And in a generation, the roll models come from outside the family.  That lack of respect is then permeated throughout the societal structure around them.

We excuse ourselves for the disrespect.  We make off-hand jokes about the habits and values of the previous generation.  Some of us cannot even remember the first time we made unkind or unseemly comments about our parents.  We believe our parent or parents are not worthy of our honor and respect.  From an earthly viewpoint, it may seem justified, but not from a heavenly or eternal viewpoint. 

In a world of broken relationships and divided parents, children are often encouraged to disrespect the ‘other’ parent.  Bad humor and slights teach the children how to behave toward both parents, even if it is coming from only one side, which is rare. Television and movies have aided the problem by encouraging derision and disdain for the values and habits of the past generations. That is a disservice to our children, ourselves and our country. 

Noah was a man of faith.  He saved his family from destruction.  But in the end, he was a gardener.  He planted a vineyard, made wine and got out of his mind drunk.  His youngest son went in the tent and saw him there: passed out naked.  The inference is that Ham did more that just say “Dad’s passed out naked in the tent” when he told his brothers about it.  So the brothers, not wanting to see their father’s nakedness put something over their shoulders, walked in backwards and covered him up.

Ignoring the “Yyyeeewww!” factor here, the desire seemed to be to honor and defend their father’s dignity in spite of his state or his mistake.  It was not Ham who received the brunt of the retaliation, but his son Canaan.  I’ve always thought that to be misplaced until of late.  I’m beginning to see a principle that when children observe or hear disrespect come from their parents, they will not only have disrespect for the target, but for the parent as well.  In short time, a society can lose its entire concept of respect.   Noah’s words may have been more prophecy than curse, for disrespect breeds disrespect and dishonor breeds dishonor.

There can be an attitude of caring and generosity amid this climate of disrespect.  It becomes a very confusing and somewhat disturbing atmosphere.  We forget how to respect others that we truly care about.  Everyone and everything is valued, but nothing is honored.  Everything has credence, yet everything is suspect.  Even super stars, though valued to a point of near worship, are expected to have flaws.  If fact we relish their weaknesses.  And they fall from their pedestals so easily as the next big thing comes along.

There is the argument that “they did not deserve my respect” or that “I’ll show respect for them when they show respect for me.”  These are mazes with no solution and must be abandoned to effect repair.

I heard a woman state that “God told me I have to respect my father as unto God- no matter what he did.”  But truly, that was not working for her.  Or perhaps the breakdown of respect for her father extended to her heavenly Father as well.  You cannot have both respect and animosity in your heart toward a person.  If you are led to believe that God is responsible for that person’s bad qualities, no matter how you arrived at that conclusion, your respect for God is compromised and deciding you will respect the person for God’s sake does no good.

So I’ve begun asking myself “How can a person, a family, or a society in this age of bad behavior and abuse get back to a place of honor, trust, and respect?”  I see no easy answer to the dilemma, for it would seem that to build the bridge to disrespect we pull up the rungs of honor from behind us.  Besides, it is easier to go downhill than to climb out.

First, we must truly understand honor and seek to be people of honor.  Maybe a word is just a word, but bad abusive language doesn’t make you cooler or stronger, it just degrades a person and the society.  Learn first to control your speech and elevate yourself by honor.  Then learn to represent yourself as a person of honor in behavior and appearance.  Presentation not only affects the people around you, it has an affect on your attitude toward yourself.  Knowing that you are a person of honor is greater than knowing you are valued by others because the value people place on you will change even if you serve it faithfully. 

As we elevate ourselves to be people of honor, we will understand better how to show honor to others and how to value showing honor for our own sake even when others do not return it.  We all need grace for those times when we are caught with mud on our faces.  But let the mud be a surprise to others not the norm and the grace will most likely be given. Yet understand that lying down in the mud is not the same thing.  That takes some time to get out of the mind and estimation of the witnesses.

It is a mindset.  We can say “I will do this because it is right,” even when right is counter-culture.  When you set a tone of personal respect, it may be regarded as odd, but will be seen as respect by others.  Some will pick it up.  Some will not.  If we are consistent, our children may begin to pick it up.  Derision for the elderly –especially elderly relatives is picked up.  I believe honor and refusal to join the derision will be noticed as well when it is a consistent life goal.

One day you will grow old, your steps will not be as sure, and your ways will not be modern.  You will want to be honored for your contributions and strengths not derided for your losses.  Show your children how it is done while you still can.  And if they doubt or stray, take time to explain it to them.

New Every Morning

  Lamentations 3:

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Two years ago I bought a tropical passion flower.  It has wonderful lovely deep red flowers. The blossoms close and begin withering each evening. They bloom only for one day. But then the next morning, I am greeted by new vibrant flowers.

I’ve read many verses in the Bible that tell us that what can be known of God is revealed in creation.  His nature, his power, his love and creativity are shown to us by the world he made.  My belief has become that if a person is seeking truth without boundary, he will find God through the clues left in creation. 

Jesus also used natural, human and earthy stories to reveal the truth of the kingdom of God in a way that the searching heart could grasp it.  So, if the character and plan of God are revealed in His creation, surely these lovely flowers have something to teach.
Each day new passion flowers -new compassion and hope- open.  They are not the ones that closed the night before, but new ones open to bless and bring a smile each morning. Yesterday’s blessings are gone.  They dry up and wither.

The last short while has been very taxing.  My health has changed.  Our income has changed.  Our family dynamic has changed.  We've welcomed a new grandson.  We've lost a dear son-in-law.  Sometimes the good has just overwhelmed me and sometimes the sad and hard things of life take my breath.  Often, I awake with a heart heavy with concern.  The worries of the day overshadow my plans and duties.  I know God is there with provision, but it lies behind a fog that seems to be my reality.

Sometimes the people we lean on move out from our reach; a chapter closes, leaving us groping for support.  Sometimes I would like to be that support for others, but I cannot be.  The joy of this day will not be there tomorrow and yet neither will its cares.  We were told not to fret about tomorrow because tomorrow will have trouble enough of its own. 

Yet this I see in the small world I occupy: if I open my heart and my eyes, I will see new blossoms of joy and love, peace and hope that open all around me.  They will not last until tomorrow, but God’s love and compassion never fails.  They are new every morning waiting for our hearts to see and smile.

These lovely flowers are there to remind me to hope in the salvation God brings this day.

A Tangled Bird

As I recall it, we were playing badminton in the back yard when a wild bird flew into the thin netting which was just big enough to catch its body and one wing in a way that rendered it unable to escape.

Loving wild things –especially wild song birds, I approached, which made it flop about wildly and tangle itself even more in the thin threads of the netting.  It cried to its kind and soon there were several birds perched above us on low branches calling back in sympathy.  When I tried to get hold of the small frightened bird, it pecked my hand and arm hard, making me bleed.  I drew back and tried to decide how I could approach to set the bird free.  By now, my daughter had joined the effort.  With each try, the bird’s struggle further tangled it in the net increasing its fear and rage toward any human body part that approached.  We were trying to speak gently and move slowly to reduce the bird’s fear and aggression, but nothing helped.

With the passing of time the bird was obviously in danger of serious injury.  It cried out furiously as it pecked at us frantically.  The other birds began to bombard us with their own frantic cries.  Finally my husband brought a dishtowel from the house.  We wrapped its head in the dishtowel.  Its feet were tangled beyond movement for the time being.  Its wings were tightened injuriously in the netting.  While one held the towel over the face of the bird to stop its pecking, the other two worked to unravel the strings from around it’s body.

It was not an exact science and we didn’t want to kill the bird freeing it.  It would shake loose long enough to peck us again now and then and the other birds were interfering with the rescue obnoxiously.  As the feet were freed, they had to be held as much as possible to keep the talons from drawing more blood or tangling into the net again. 

We were sore and bleeding but determined.  Working together, eventually that determination paid off: the bird was freed and joined its waiting friends and family in the tree.  We cleaned the wounds and stopped the blood flow.

A recent event brought this to mind.  Sometimes we get caught up in another person’s pain and fear.  It’s not our fault that the person is wounded or fearful.  We want to help.  We must help.  For all our efforts, we are pecked raw.  The person cannot understand our kindness or our intentions, for his own fear and pain are too great.  Walking away is unthinkable, but enduring the out pouring of frustration from the one to which we wish to bring safety and comfort is also unacceptable.  We back away in pain.  We reach in again to try to help.  We know he does not want our help.  We see that the web is becoming a noose.  Eventually we are torn to shreds and exhausted.  But we cannot stand by and do nothing, even when the person calls to his peers and they bombard us. 

The tendency is to walk away or be less than gentle.  It’s only one bird after all.  But for some of us, walking away is not in our nature.  We seek to learn, to be wiser next time.  But truth is, we will be torn.

The bird was not grateful for the help, just to be rid of us.  And yet, it would have died without help –specifically, our help. 

The Earnest Heartfelt Cry

The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available. (from James 5:16 AMP)

       We all synchronized our watches and stepped outside in different parts of the country.  At the designated time we all cried out to God in our own way for the same thing. It was truly dynamic.

       After instructing campers that there would be no secular music allowed –part of the ritual of rules and regulations- one camper snapped a very foul cassette tape into her player and cranked it up to full volume.  I lifted my hand and said “Papa, bless that tape.”  It broke.  The girl was livid.  I broke her tape.  I didn’t touch her tape.

       The car I was riding in was sliding quickly toward a steep drop off.  I cried out “Father, please.”  The car stopped.  When the driver stepped out, the road was so slick he could not stand on either side of the car.

       I walked out of a prayer meeting with a bad limp, in great pain.  There had been so many needs spoken that night that were heavy and I did not ask for myself.  Another person saw my condition as I left the building and asked me if he could pray for my leg and I agreed.  The pain which was constant and increasing day by day was gone immediately.  Then we were both called back in to pray for another need.  Wow! What a boost to my own faith and fervency in the prayer that followed. 

What is my point?  The heartfelt cry that acknowledges God’s power and love is heard and effective.  The continued prayer of a righteous heart accomplishes much. Here is a key: repetitious chanting and continued prayer are two different things.  Jesus spoke of vain repetition in disdain.  He also spoke of a widow who would not stop asking and was honored.  The widow was confident in the power of the judge and her need was overwhelming.

       I also remember a young mother who never seemed to have enough to go around, who prayed fervently over her entry into the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes believing that God would give it to her so she could do great good and also pay all her bills and buy the needs of her family.  She did not win the Sweepstakes.  But she was given the ability to earn enough to meet the debts and needs she faced –again and again.

       She walked into her study with an anguished heart and demanded that God give her daughter’s stolen baby back.  It was not accomplished that day.  Instead, God used the anguish of her child to restore the daughter’s broken life and she now believes one day the rest will be done in His time.

       She stood on her front porch and cried out to God to redeem the life of her daughter.  His spirit said “It is done!”  She was amazed and excited, but watched in anguish as the daughter was incarcerated time after time for another 7 years.  One day she did see the redemption and has witnessed an ongoing restoration.

I have had more prayers answered in my lifetime than should ever allow me to doubt my God.  I have had more prayers denied in my lifetime than to ever stand puffed up in my own worth or ability to pray. I have prayed prayers and been denied the right to know whether they were answered or not.

I believe that God is far greater than to be limited by my failure, lack of understanding or questionable motive.  I believe we should pray about everything but I think also that we must consider the character and wisdom of God when we pray.

I believe that faith is counted for righteousness when directed toward God in obedience and that without faith it is impossible to please God.  I believe that to come to God we must believe that He is “God” and that he will always reward those who come to him with trust.  I believe that we are saved by grace –soul and circumstance- through faith which does not come from our own ability or understanding but is given to us by God himself.  I believe that any request made with faith in God’s character and rightness will be honored –even if we don’t immediately understand the answer.  I believe that God understands the cry of our heart and that we do not have to use a formula to get His love or His answer to our need.  I believe that willful sin and inherent doubt –disbelief in the character and soverienty of God- will break our line of communication with God and our requests will not be granted.

God is love –always.  God is truth –always.  God is good –always.  God is righteous –always.  This is not His choice; it is His character.  We cannot pray with disregard for His character and hope to be given our request.

Jesus told his disciples to forgive 490 times.  That brings us great consolation and hope.  What He taught us to be is who He is by character.  He said that God is honored when we ask in faith, believing.

It is my belief that selfish, immoral, or harmful requests do not come from faith in who God is and will not be honored. 

We can understand God’s character by his written word, by the life of Jesus, and by His creation.  Our desire for something to be true does not make it true.  If we want to be fully effective in prayer, we must take time to learn the character of God.  Prayer will reproduce the character of God in our lives when we understand the God we pray to.

That being said, I believe God is as happy to hear a badly spoken, sincere prayer as a daddy is to hear a badly pronounced call from his toddler.  We do not have to have it all packaged nicely to begin calling on His name.  We are only admonished to grow in knowledge and faith.  There has never been a time when speaking those fervent, faith to righteousness prayers is more important.  We are fighting the battle of the ages with sticks when we have a shield and a sword at our side.

I will be praying about national and global problems as well as more personal needs.  I believe a single honest prayer of faith touches the Father, but if you wish to join me, I also believe that 2 or more make a difference.

The Subtlety of Changing the Truth

There will be those who automatically go somewhere I never intended with this.  It is a risk I will take to make a point.  If I can stay on track, I think it is a very valuable and valid point. There are others who will decide I am a religious nut.  That poses no risk, for they already think that.  If a few more join, it won’t change the landscape much.  But if a few people read it, understand what I’m saying and begin to think instead of blindly accept, it will be worth the scorn.

¹⁸ The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness,¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made,

²⁵ They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

² Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.   (Taken from Romans I and 2)

These and other passages through out the Bible tell us that God put himself into his creation kind of like a global scavenger hunt where any person of any place, language or ideology can find him and know him if they are willing to stay with the truth.  The truth of God is in creation.  Sometimes when I am struggling with a spiritual concept, I ask God to show me in creation.  I am amazed at the things that become plain when creation is referenced under the guidance of the Spirit. 

Okay, I’ve already lost some of you.  Glad you came, see you next time –or maybe not.  That’s not arrogance, it’s fact.  If you start veering off the expected or accepted norm, some people drop you like a hot rock and never stay for the next sentence.

I was around before our country came up with the common acceptance of Daylight Savings Time.  We woke up, we went about our business and we were basically tired at the end of the day or not.  Science teaches us that the sun rises at 6 and sets at 6 on the equinox.  The moon rises at 6PM when it is full.  There is a rationale in the pattern; there is stability in the norm.  If I may, there is a piece of God in the system.

Daylight Savings Time messes with us.  It throws us off balance for a time.  We gradually adjust and then it happens again.  Why?  Because ‘they’ decided. 

For several years, we went like herded sheep through the gate.  We changed time at the vernal and autumnal equinox.  We were told it saved energy.  We were told it gave us more time in the evening.  We were told “just do it”.  And we did.  Then they began changing when we would adjust our schedule and we just blindly stumble through the gate.  It must make sense, because they decided.

What does Daylight Savings Time really save?  I’ve lived with it for over 50 years and I’ve studied it.  My conclusion is it adjusts and we adjust, but it doesn’t save anything.  Even if their logic about energy consumption and all could be proven, why not tell corporate and industrial America to start their activities one hour earlier?  Well that would take discipline and some would not cooperate.  Ah but if we change our clocks . . . . if we make it universal, they will just accept it.  The populace doesn’t really know what is good, and they don’t have the discipline to think and do it, if they know.  We are conditioned to accept this mentality.  We do not look to the creator for wisdom or guidance, it is provided elsewhere.  We can trust chaos; we don’t have to trust God.  Chaos will present itself; we need not look for God.  There is a dulling of the populace and that works for some.

Beyond that is the fact that we are living a lie –according to science itself- for the majority of the year now.  There is an awesome beauty and wonder to the passage of days and seasons. Yet time has lost its link to reason and order, but we will do it anyway.  There is no truth, no justification, but we will do it anyway. 

Mankind has skillfully misplaced one more clue to the greatest quest in life –knowing God.  I believe he is still there, still reaching.  I don’t think DST changes him, but he ordered time and seasons for a reason, for our benefit, for our understanding.  The beautiful logic of God’s order is not lost, but became clouded and adjusted to no advantage.  But we will do it anyway.

We are a people living for the bell.  ‘They’ ring a bell and we respond.  Eventually the suggestion of control makes us blindly submit.  There was a time when the teacher signaled the start of the learning process, but eventually we invented the bell so that we could all be on the same page.  And we lost a little something –for the greater good.  I will not veer off into education here but it would not be off topic if I did.

We adjust our language because ‘they’ say so -after all, words are just words.  We adjust our concept of happiness because ‘they’ say so –to spur the economy and confuse our real goals.  We adjust our morality because ‘they’ say so –what is a moral code anyway except a reflection of society.  We are being led by the blind, conditioned to follow without rationale, losing pieces of ourselves and clues to our God.

We have an enemy.  He has a strategy.  What we forget is that he set himself against God and has stayed on that path.  He wants us on that path with him.  I’m not saying that the person who came up with DST was satanic.  I believe he uses it in his plan for chaos.  It is easier to just follow than to think.  I’m not saying we should revolt against DST, I’m saying we must think a bit more deeply.  And if we claim God as supreme, we must not relinquish him to ‘them.’

It’s a choice.  We are created with a mind.  We are created with a spirit.  The pieces are being clouded and crowded out.  It should be a matter of conscious concern.

A Useless Argument

I have seen many posts that tell a fantastic story designed to make people believe in God.  I will not waste my time trying to make an atheist espouse my faith.  We all have a choice to believe or to not believe.  There are things you cannot make me believe.  I choose not to.

This is how I see it on this lovely day:

Abraham heard a voice saying “Get up and take your stuff and go to a place I will show you.”

At that point, he had a choice.  He could have said “Whew! What was in that glass?” or perhaps “What a crazy dream!” or maybe “Man that chili did a number on me.”  He might have said “People who hear voices are crazy.”  But Abraham picked up his stuff and went. 

For you it may have been an act based in a moment of emotion or a lack of rational thought.  For him it was a choice to believe.  That’s all –just a choice to believe.  It was a life changing choice to believe and the evidence came after the choice.

When God speaks to me, I have a choice to believe or not believe.  When God says “Come” I have a right to believe it was God and to follow.  The evidence comes after I believe.  It is true for me and for you.  If you choose to reject God, your evidence will follow.  I will continue to say what I know.  You will continue to believe what you choose.  I cannot stop your belief.  You cannot change mine.  We are on parallel courses, not the same road and not the same destiny.

I know what believing has brought to my life.  I have the substance of things unseen and the evidence of things hoped for.  I do not know what your unbelief brings you.

So if I tell you a tale about a car that runs without gas, or a story of live bombs that will not explode, or of a blind man who acts with sighted precision, or of a soldier who has his hand on the door when a voice warns him to wait while a bomb explodes on the other side, you will likely not believe the story and if you should be faced with undeniable testimony, you will find a reason to continue not believing.  You will find your evidence.

But if you hear a voice saying “Come” or “Listen” and you decide to believe and trust, you will find evidence and substance that makes God undeniable and trustworthy in the most incredible, mind-blowing ways.  After all He is God.

I can warn you of judgment to come.  It will make no difference.  I can tell you of the benefits of faith.  It will mean nothing unless you choose to hear.

I pray daily for those I love who are not believers.  I ask God to speak one more time, to act one more time, to show mercy one more time.  If God tells me to speak, I will speak though you may scorn me or hate me, for I believe in God.  But most often, I will pray.  I will continue, for one day you may decide to believe God and see his evidence on the other side of faith.  It is your call.