The Light of The World

This weekend, while camping with our grandson, we went on a couple of hikes. He has a cute 'hungry caterpillar lamp that I bought him for Christmas, but he wanted a flashlight of course.

“Don't look at the light!” “No! Don't shine it in my eyes!” “Make it go on the ground so we can see where we are going.” “Don't shine it in people's faces -they can't see when you do that; it makes them unhappy.” “The trees and clouds don't need it.” “Shine it on the road so we can see where we are going!” “You're blinding me, buddy.”

In the past few days, I've seen that experience replicated in the spiritual realm. We are the 'light of the world.' “Let your light shine, therefore, in front of people so that they can see the good deeds you do and give Glory to God your Father.”

The guy holding the flashlight in a group who are walking in the dark must be conscious of not only his own need and opinion, but of the others with him who need the light as well. Often we shine it anywhere but on the path. Sometimes we blind people and actually make them stumble. Sometimes we blind ourselves with the light and we can't see anything for awhile -not the path, not the people who need light. Sometimes we just annoy others and make them turn further from our way. Sometimes we consider ourselves tour guides instead of servants helping people to see the way.

I recall another campout when we were camped a bit further down the road from the restrooms. I was headed there in the dark but I couldn't use my flashlight because I was carrying trash to the dumpster. A guy I didn't know at all came along side with a flashlight and lit my way. Then he offered to wait and help me back to my site. I assured him that I had the return trip covered and thanked him for his kindness. As he turned away, I also thanked my God for sending someone to help.

Those of us who know the grace of God are the light. We just are the light. We don't have to worry that we'll be turned off and set on a shelf. But we must not take our ability as our own. The one who made us the light knows where, when and how to use that so that people can see and glorify God for our influence.

The Season of My Joy -Sukkot 2017 Summary

Last year was the first time I had any direct contact with Sukkot or Feast of Tabernacles (Season of Our Joy). I was planning to camp for the whole week before our church camp out and learned that it was the week of Sukkot. I didn't really have much time for research, but I have a smart phone and decided that I would spend the week investigating and learning more about Sukkot.

To that time, I knew of it only from the writings in Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. We got there a little before sundown on Monday and put our pvc and plastic over the picnic table. Our plan was to not erect the 'kitchen' tent until we moved into our 'group camping' spot on Thursday since it would just be the two of us and we had to move camp half way through. While cooking our supper a little after dark, we began hearing very boisterous singing and celebrating. It was a fairly large group camping close by who were celebrating Sukkot.

I researched online and visited with the people who were there to celebrate for the rest of the week. It was an awesome revelation.

My plastic cover became my sukkah and we roasted supper over a fire each night and gave thanks and sang. We tied together a lulav and boxed the etrog and presented them daily. We searched for ways to give to others and restricted complaint from our lips. The end of our camping time came during day 8. I knew the Messianic group would stay through Tuesday, and I learned about 8^th day, but we had to go home. I vowed to celebrate again this year and began making plans.

My plans for this year changed. I would not be camping. Also, because of responsibilities, I could not accomplish all facets of the observance. I studied, amassed a file of prayers, readings, and blessings for the week and determined to do the best I could. Then God took over.

I started with a bit of difficulty getting a suitable sukkah (which is the singular of Sukkot). I abandoned my first attempt and used the pvc and plastic from last year's effort. I constructed a pipe horn for call to worship and gathered my tree specie for the lulav. I bought a fruit to serve as the etrog (heart) though I couldn't find the fruit specifically mentioned. I thought I had a decorated box that it would fit in, but it didn't fit, yet I found a perfect fit in a large plastic egg from my studio. I cleaned it well, found a couple of doilies and felt good about the presentation. I blessed my little sukkah on Wednesday night when I got home.

I started to print out the scripture and such for the first morning during which I was blessing a friend with breakfast under the sukkah. The Spirit within said “Don't. I'll lead you into the spirit of the festival.” Surprisingly I obeyed, and though I stumbled and fumbled, I made it through call to worship and the presentation of the etrog and lulav and a blessed breakfast with reading of praise (Psalm 92). That night I roasted my food over a fire and celebrated as I never have. It was the beginning of an amazing week of God's blessing and closeness. And so coming up to day 7, I researched how to close my sukkah.

Day 7 was an emotional day. I had come so far in my journey of one week and it would end at sundown. I had the feast for the 8^th day ready for the fire and the coals were ready by mid afternoon. I cooked, prepared the table under the pergola, and at sundown, crossed the bridge and entered my little sukkah for the last time. It was fitting that it was solitary -just me and the Father in the closing of my sukkah. The horn was sounded, the blessing spoken, the prayer for the next year's success was given. Thanksgiving for being led through the journey was offered. I carried my items pipehorn, unwrapped bouquet and fruit, to the pergola, extinguished the lamps in the sukkah and relit them at the table of our feast. And it was an awesome feast cooked over fire.

I didn't reenter the upper deck until this morning. I wasn't sure how it would feel taking it all down. I didn't really feel anything. It was my observation deck. The Spirit was in me and with me, but no longer stronger in the sukkah than elsewhere. No need to laugh or cry or even sing. It was a totally unexpected task! My morning time with the Father was just that. My supper on the deck was good and sharing with my man and my black doggie was sweet. Life is as it was. Yet there is a part of me that hopes I will never totally be as I was before Sukkot 2017.

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine

I don't know why the connection came, but memories this morning brought to mind an event in my education at ATU; here it is.

I brought home a large lump of clay one weekend because I had the desire to make something specific and didn't want to wait until my next clay class to begin it and I still had much to accomplish for the class. Throughout the weekend I worked on the piece. I named it 'the ice dancer.' It was very simplistic, minimalistic, and modern; I was pleased.
I wrapped the finished piece carefully so that it could make the trip back on Monday and carried it carefully into the clay area at the college. I unpacked it with pride and with great care started toward the drying racks, piece in my hand. Without warning it disintegrated. It didn't just break, it literally disintegrated!

I let out an agonizing wail that I've heard many times since from students working on clay projects, most frequently the wheel. From the second floor of the building I heard my instructor's voice call down “It's only clay, Donna.”
I yelled back up at him in agony, “but it was my clay.” and heard him reply somewhat softly “maybe not.”

This memory brought a thought about a scene from Finding Nemo where the sea gulls are chasing the fish as the pelican tries to fend them off. They are crying “mine, mine, mine, mine, mine” as they fight to catch the fish. As the fish flop into the sea, a lone sea gull lands and mournfully cries “mine.”

I see that my speech is often full of the word 'my.' I refer to possessions, ideas, abilities, and even people this way. And when something gets broken or lost, I wail in anguish. Many things have been broken in the last few years and I wail a lot. In reading my memories this morning I found myself saddened by a loss and saying “but it was my. . .” and hearing in my spirit “maybe not.”

I realize once more that all good gifts come from the Father and they are only ours to enjoy for a time. I shall strive to remember with joy and understand that the joy of today is temporary, but that there will be joy for tomorrow as well if I don't hold so tightly to today that I can't feel it.

The only things that last for ever are God's love and the grace of Jesus. The rest is temporal and gives joy for the day and the memory.

On Building According to Need.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
My niece posted this verse recently and looking at it again this morning, my mind was stirred. There was a time when I thought of unwholesome talk in a whole different way than I do now. It was the letter of the law. But this morning I considered the part that says "what is helpful for building up others according to their needs." It speaks of being a benefit to others in our speech. I have to admit that I have always used this verse more as a club than as a cane.
In myself, I am beginning to see negativism as very unwholesome. I know that's just where God is taking me and I don't mean it as a condemnation of anyone else. It may not be what God is concentrating on in any other person's life.  But I have had to realize that I am so not geared to building others up according to their need. First, I have to take time to know the need. We make so many assumptions, but do we know the need of the heart and spirit? For that, we must spend time with the maker of the heart and spirit. 
I know many who are, and I have been, personally, guilty of abrasive, destructive words in the name of “helping” others toward godly living. But in scripture, I see that that's really the job of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes he does lay a word of correction in our spirit, but it will always concentrate on grace and redemption. We  should not fire random words of tough love. That is as unwholesome as cursing and filthy speech.

Often I speak “in love” what is important to me, my opinion or my latest revelation. Sometimes I should. Sometimes that's not what others need. I am simply satisfying my own need. How do I know the difference if I'm not in tune with the Holy Spirit, who knows and understands all needs of all mankind?

Jesus taught us to love others as we love ourselves. The world, and sometimes the church, is teaching us to love ourselves so we know how to love others. I'm beginning to feel that this is just the other side of the same selfish coin. It is the world's coin. In spite of esteem issues and self pressure, we know how to love ourselves. And if we truly do not, the remedy lies in looking at the love of God through Christ, not trying to increase our love toward ourselves. We will learn more from acknowledging how much he loves us than by concentrating on self love. I do believe we are unfit for true service until we recognize his love. Recognizing how much he forgives us is more important than learning to forgive ourselves. Becoming egocentric Christians for the sake of benevolence is a sad testimony to God's love and grace, just as greedy grasping of earthly things is a sad testimony to the abundance of God's provision.
I can show benevolence to other people without the love of God in my heart and it really doesn't accomplish anything for me or them. But if I will look at the love and grace Christ has for me, I will love him, according to his own words. In that stance, because he then is in me loving the world, the issues are moot.
So perhaps any inability to concentrate our words on other people's needs to be built up will be best remedied by bringing our focus back on what Jesus did for us so that we may know how to really love the world. "Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." I think that will take care of most of the rest of the problems. 

A Message from Myself to Myself on Fear

I found the following post on another site.  Again, it is a Message to Myself from Myself reminding me of things I should not forget.  My life has been blessed in so many ways.

As an addition to the post, I will say that the grace God has shown me is healing my body.  Rheumatoid arthritis is no longer my silent partner.  I still struggle at times with weakness and pain, but who doesn't?  I still get splotches on my skin and bruise and bleed easily, but life is good and I am not overcome by disease. I am still conscious of the need for wisdom and personal discipline in this life.

So I publish this reminder of grace and truth that God has brought through and is bringing through my life by the gift of his Son.

Fear

DONNAFAYE WOODALL·TUESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2016

I do not fear heaven.

I do not fear death, because I trust the promise of heaven.

I do not fear onliness because my God is always with me and his love surrounds me.

I have lived with success and failure. I have lived with honor and disgrace. I have lived with appreciation and with rejection.

I have eaten steak and cordon bleu and I have eaten rice and potatoes. It’s just food either way and when it’s gone, it’s gone.

I have worn fancy clothing and precious stones and I have worn cheap earrings and clearance rack clothing. I’ve driven new cars and I’ve driven old clunkers that barely got me from one place to another. None of that made me more or less of a person or dulled the flame inside.

This is not to say that I cannot be brought low. I had a car wreck that stole more than I could imagine from me and a God who gave back more than I would have ever thought. I’ve looked death and disability in the eye and reacted as humans react and yet was loved and delivered.

I’ve had my greatest dream crushed more than once –and once by my own doing. I have been degraded and deceived. And through it I lived.

5 years ago, I was given news about my health that I would not accept –again. Since before that revelation until now, I have lived with rheumatoid arthritis. I recall a time when I used to think it was a joke. But aside from the pain and swelling that is disabling if allowed to progress, when I get an infection, it touches my whole body. Along with the attack that is waged on my body, the lack of desire to keep doing it one more time becomes the greater enemy.

I believe in divine healing. As yet, divine healing has not come to this disease. When diagnosed, I chose not to take the medications they prescribed and opted for a total change in diet and a life of discipline. God has been good to me through that.

Yesterday I was ill, brought on by careless neglect, just a slight kidney infection. It would have been a small thing at one time but not so when it is governed by my silent partner. I had to fight just to walk upright. I was achy and distracted by pain most of the day. I went from task to task just to get through the hours until my efforts could rectify the damage I had done to myself. The relief was slow coming.

Tonight my face and arms were hot and bumpy with the red places that follow any strong internal distress. I doctored them with my herbal remedy before laying down. Each day and year I stand closer to heaven, my final destination. That does not discourage me.

I do have fears. I will tell you of them. I fear living beyond my usefulness. I fear living past my final sunrise or last creative venture. I fear losing my freedom to decide when to rise and what to eat. I fear losing the ability to laugh and see the humor in things around me. I fear losing the right to give to others or to teach a lesson or to lead a craft. I fear not being allowed to live in my own space, eat my own cooking and listen to music that feeds my soul and spirit.

I am not a poor soul because I am sick or because I may be misunderstood when I am sick. I am only poor when I do not trust God’s best for my present and my future. I will never be perfect by the human eye’s standard but I am perfect in the eyes of my Father because of the work of his Son completed in whole on the cross. He rose to give me ‘new.’

Should my greatest fears become reality, it is trust that will bring me through it to the other side. And should my greatest hope be realized, it is trust that will bring me through it with a right heart and mind.

1 Peter 1:6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Hebrews 12:10 God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

The chair: From theoretical to real

I've heard about God all my life. I've believed in God as long as I remember. I accepted the gift of salvation and became God's child in 1967. God filled me to overflowing with his Holiness (Spirit) in 1969. God has been there changing and redeeming my life though every up and down. I hear him speak often-mostly within the confines of intellect and spirit, but a few times with audible sound. I've received answers to many of my questions and some of my prayers.

In 2002 I asked God to help me know that I was in his plan. My life had taken a lot of turns and spills and so many things were changing fast. I felt I could only survive, let alone succeed, if I knew I was on His path. He specifically instructed me to pare down my activities and only proceed when I heard his command. I tried to follow and found it more difficult than I would have imagined. God's love constantly reined me in and realigned me over the next few years.

In 2007 I was faced with a daunting task and I prayed often with deep insecurities. I'd always been such a confident person that this was new ground for me. I prayed for confirmation over and over and then one night as I was on my face crying and praying to know what part was me and what part was God lest I err badly, He broke in and ask “Who are you talking to?” I almost felt insulted. I was trying so hard to just 'get it right' and for that I needed him so much. But that conversation was a turning point in my spiritual thinking. I knew His voice. I knew his word. I knew his character -though not as well as I should have for the length of time I'd been walking with him.

The next few years were as chaotic and taxing as I had feared. God did not leave us orphans. He was there consistently during those sometimes dark and often confusing days. Not all days were dark and confused. He was present in every event of that event.

4 or 5 years ago, I asked God to reveal himself to me, to let me truly know him. I wanted to be a friend of God; I wanted, as best a earthing can, to understand Him (purpose, desire, love, holiness, mystery). I began studying with a different intent and technique. I am still earthling. I am still flawed. But I am amazed at the change in my heart and mind toward scripture, toward others, toward God.

I have purposely left out examples because I wanted to stay on course and yet I felt some background was necessary for what I really want to say. My finite mind cannot truly envelope an infinite God and yet I see in scripture and experience that he desires that I know him.

James 2: 22 . . . his faith reached its maturity when he expressed his faith through obedience. 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God,

and this faith was credited to him by God as righteous conformity to His will,” and he

was called the friend of God. (Amp)

We are raised with many opinions of God. Often people feel so strongly about their opinions that the growth of the relationship is stunted because they limit God to a set of humanly contrived fences. One day I realized that God does not fit my fenced yard nor has he any desire to live there. Yet he invites me to come where he is.

I've changed my view of death, sickness, storms, joy, finance, love, all in the last 5 years. One day I told God that I wanted to know him so well that I knew his favorite color and flower and season. I wanted to know what he likes for breakfast. Well of course I was not being precise with that statement. I'm not an idiot. But I really do want to know God as a friend the way John did, and Abraham, and David, and Mary.

Around the first of this year, God began waking me very early. I would pray about whatever came to mind and, being wide awake before house noises are appreciated, began watching Daystar, especially listening to a couple of preachers that God has used to solve some long standing issues in my spirit and heart. But one morning, I dozed off and woke to a speaker I wasn't familiar with. I started to turn the TV off and heard the voice in my spirit say 'listen.' The concept being discussed was that of keeping a chair empty in the home to bring God constantly into remembrance. The man had some funny stories and some tear-jerkers and was marketing a book he'd written about the effect it had on his family and visitors to his home. Normally a program like that would garner a little positive reaction and be forgotten, but not when the Holy Spirit is using it to speak specifically to my own need.

When I was getting ready for that day's personal time in my sunroom, I cleared off the arm table and set the chairs so that they were somewhat facing. To reduce my distraction, I chose the chair that faces toward the dining room and away from the yard and street. I sat down and said “Father, I know you are always with me, but often I am not conscious of your presence and so I tend to do my own thing even when I come to the Bible and prayer. I invite you to sit with me as I study and enlighten my spirit and mind as I read and direct my thoughts and understanding as I pray.”

The passage I was studying presented me with some personal conflict and though I often pray about those things, I just asked God -imagined in the other chair- to help my understanding and bring peace to my spirit. As I read, other unclear passages were enlightened or strengthened. By the end of the time, I was amazed and my spirit was refreshed. I felt I had spent time with God because I was recognizing his presence in every thought and verse. My prayer time felt fresh and empowered. I invited God to carry on the conversation as I prepared to teach in my studio. The original issue had not been addressed, but I felt at peace.

Day by day I acknowledged his presence in the freshly cleaned and ordered chair. Day by day my faith in his presence was increased and sharpened. Then one day, God brought my original question to mind as I was looking into another scripture. My heart and spirit were opened. My mind assented to new understanding. I said aloud “Wow! You did answer, but I had to get there.” Over time, I've gotten used to that and when I ask about something difficult or casual, I've learned to expect an answer, if not today, one day when I've reached the right place for receiving it.

The chair remains empty in the morning quiet time. If someone has thrown something there, I pick it up and dust the chair off. If something has been spilled on the chair, I clean it off and prepare it before I sit down.

I don't think God needs a place to sit down, but I need to envision him there in full presence, caring about what I say and feel, knowing my limits and giving me the freedom to walk out the gate with him to a new understanding. And when I listen, I expect to hear him speak. Jesus said “I no longer call you servants. I call you friends.” I'm learning to learn and loving it.