The chair: From theoretical to real

I've heard about God all my life. I've believed in God as long as I remember. I accepted the gift of salvation and became God's child in 1967. God filled me to overflowing with his Holiness (Spirit) in 1969. God has been there changing and redeeming my life though every up and down. I hear him speak often-mostly within the confines of intellect and spirit, but a few times with audible sound. I've received answers to many of my questions and some of my prayers.

In 2002 I asked God to help me know that I was in his plan. My life had taken a lot of turns and spills and so many things were changing fast. I felt I could only survive, let alone succeed, if I knew I was on His path. He specifically instructed me to pare down my activities and only proceed when I heard his command. I tried to follow and found it more difficult than I would have imagined. God's love constantly reined me in and realigned me over the next few years.

In 2007 I was faced with a daunting task and I prayed often with deep insecurities. I'd always been such a confident person that this was new ground for me. I prayed for confirmation over and over and then one night as I was on my face crying and praying to know what part was me and what part was God lest I err badly, He broke in and ask “Who are you talking to?” I almost felt insulted. I was trying so hard to just 'get it right' and for that I needed him so much. But that conversation was a turning point in my spiritual thinking. I knew His voice. I knew his word. I knew his character -though not as well as I should have for the length of time I'd been walking with him.

The next few years were as chaotic and taxing as I had feared. God did not leave us orphans. He was there consistently during those sometimes dark and often confusing days. Not all days were dark and confused. He was present in every event of that event.

4 or 5 years ago, I asked God to reveal himself to me, to let me truly know him. I wanted to be a friend of God; I wanted, as best a earthing can, to understand Him (purpose, desire, love, holiness, mystery). I began studying with a different intent and technique. I am still earthling. I am still flawed. But I am amazed at the change in my heart and mind toward scripture, toward others, toward God.

I have purposely left out examples because I wanted to stay on course and yet I felt some background was necessary for what I really want to say. My finite mind cannot truly envelope an infinite God and yet I see in scripture and experience that he desires that I know him.

James 2: 22 . . . his faith reached its maturity when he expressed his faith through obedience. 23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God,

and this faith was credited to him by God as righteous conformity to His will,” and he

was called the friend of God. (Amp)

We are raised with many opinions of God. Often people feel so strongly about their opinions that the growth of the relationship is stunted because they limit God to a set of humanly contrived fences. One day I realized that God does not fit my fenced yard nor has he any desire to live there. Yet he invites me to come where he is.

I've changed my view of death, sickness, storms, joy, finance, love, all in the last 5 years. One day I told God that I wanted to know him so well that I knew his favorite color and flower and season. I wanted to know what he likes for breakfast. Well of course I was not being precise with that statement. I'm not an idiot. But I really do want to know God as a friend the way John did, and Abraham, and David, and Mary.

Around the first of this year, God began waking me very early. I would pray about whatever came to mind and, being wide awake before house noises are appreciated, began watching Daystar, especially listening to a couple of preachers that God has used to solve some long standing issues in my spirit and heart. But one morning, I dozed off and woke to a speaker I wasn't familiar with. I started to turn the TV off and heard the voice in my spirit say 'listen.' The concept being discussed was that of keeping a chair empty in the home to bring God constantly into remembrance. The man had some funny stories and some tear-jerkers and was marketing a book he'd written about the effect it had on his family and visitors to his home. Normally a program like that would garner a little positive reaction and be forgotten, but not when the Holy Spirit is using it to speak specifically to my own need.

When I was getting ready for that day's personal time in my sunroom, I cleared off the arm table and set the chairs so that they were somewhat facing. To reduce my distraction, I chose the chair that faces toward the dining room and away from the yard and street. I sat down and said “Father, I know you are always with me, but often I am not conscious of your presence and so I tend to do my own thing even when I come to the Bible and prayer. I invite you to sit with me as I study and enlighten my spirit and mind as I read and direct my thoughts and understanding as I pray.”

The passage I was studying presented me with some personal conflict and though I often pray about those things, I just asked God -imagined in the other chair- to help my understanding and bring peace to my spirit. As I read, other unclear passages were enlightened or strengthened. By the end of the time, I was amazed and my spirit was refreshed. I felt I had spent time with God because I was recognizing his presence in every thought and verse. My prayer time felt fresh and empowered. I invited God to carry on the conversation as I prepared to teach in my studio. The original issue had not been addressed, but I felt at peace.

Day by day I acknowledged his presence in the freshly cleaned and ordered chair. Day by day my faith in his presence was increased and sharpened. Then one day, God brought my original question to mind as I was looking into another scripture. My heart and spirit were opened. My mind assented to new understanding. I said aloud “Wow! You did answer, but I had to get there.” Over time, I've gotten used to that and when I ask about something difficult or casual, I've learned to expect an answer, if not today, one day when I've reached the right place for receiving it.

The chair remains empty in the morning quiet time. If someone has thrown something there, I pick it up and dust the chair off. If something has been spilled on the chair, I clean it off and prepare it before I sit down.

I don't think God needs a place to sit down, but I need to envision him there in full presence, caring about what I say and feel, knowing my limits and giving me the freedom to walk out the gate with him to a new understanding. And when I listen, I expect to hear him speak. Jesus said “I no longer call you servants. I call you friends.” I'm learning to learn and loving it.