21 Days of Indecision.

Our Church is joining others for 21 days of unified prayer.  We were encouraged to seek God's leadership about fasting -self denial- and such.  In the past I have fasted many things during the periods of 'consecration', 'personal renewal' and such.  It may be that this will be read by noone, but I am writing as much for myself as for others anyway so I will post links and if you read, I will welcome comments.
I began the whole thing in solitary fashion.  My head and chest were very noisy yesterday and I believe the expelling is a good thing in my healing process, but it would not have been a good thing for church.  This may well have been by divine design, though I do plan to listen to yesterday's message as soon as it is posted on our church web site.  But in my solitude, I asked the question 'What should I fast?'  The reply was quick and unexpected: YOUR OPINION.
I would like to insert here that often 'fasting' is somewhat if not generally ineffective because we give God an offering that costs us nothing.  For the 21 days, for instance, I usually fast computer games.  I will do the same this year.  But this is not a 'fast' pleasing to my God.  First of all, these games are a waste of time.  I'm not saying they are evil.  But they just keep us busy on useless pursuit.  I have found that sometimes a useless pursuit for my hands frees my brain and keeps me occupied at the same time and that is an occasional benefit.  But as a whole they benefit me nothing, so to give them as an offering to God is pointless.  The only benefit to giving them up is freeing time for Him to speak and me to listen and obey.  Food is another item that I don't feel led to fast.  It is to my personal benefit to control my eating for my health.  This is not the gift God requires of me.  I've begun to sharply curb my TV watching, but I'm coming off a Holiday Halmark binge of enormous proportions, so this is also not a 'fasting unto the LORD' issue.  So what do I offer my God at this time in exchange for the right of effective petition?  I asked.  He answered.
I am a person who likes choices.  I like to have choices.  I like to give choices.  But for 21 days I intend to have no choice where the voice of God is concerned.  This may seem like a slam dunk, but face it, it's not.  I reason.  When my children were young, they 'argued.'  It's the same concept.  I said, "Pick up your room." They wanted to know if that meant this or if that meant that.  They knew what I wanted, but they didn't really want to do what I wanted.  I said, "You cannot go there."  They began to 'reason' with me.  I called it arguing.  For 21 days, I believe God is saying, "Give it up and just do what I say, Donna."
It is my opinion that my days won't change drastically.  He's not going to tell me to stop cussing.  He's not going to tell me to stop going to the casino.  He's not likely to tell me not to clean house, teach my students, or change clothes.  But if He does, I hope to respond immediately without argument.  I don't intend to wait on a word to get busy each day, but I will actively invite Him to be my LORD and with his grace and help, I will hear and obey even in the simple small things.  There are times when I hear Him and my reasoning dismisses his command.  I want to give that up for 21 days.