Honor

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Ephesians 6:2
We are all very human, very flawed.  I've heard people say "My parents had no virtue worth honoring.  I felt sad for them.  I have parents that are flawed, to be sure, but full of reasons for honor.  As a 'grown-up' I've had to reconcile my belief and personal experience with the teaching of my childhood and at times, I showed less than ultimate honor for my parents and their personal values.  Yet I've always felt an honor for them individually and as 'parents'.  It's not always a comfortable place to be.
In the past few years, I've received a barrage of sourced information bites that contradicted things I was told over and over and eventually, I decided to believe the stories passed down through multiple discussions and sharing.  What if I'm wrong???  I choose to honor my father.
Recently I've had a conflict arise in my heart and soul that has had me questioning my mother's honor.  I've made a conscious decision to honor my mother.  What if I'm wrong???
This honoring caused me to be dishonorable.  I became so enraged that I reacted dishonorably.
For those I injured, I apologize for your pain. For those I involved in my rage, I apologize for involving you in my anger.  My anger may have been supported, my action was not.  I stand with my mother.  I honor her heart and her intention.  I will choose to believe her words.  That is not meant as an accusation to anyone.
No person owes me anything.  Sometimes we can disagree without harboring resentment.  If you must say that this means I continue to accuse, I don't know what to do about that.  The pride that made me yell 'You had no right!!' when I was angry accomplished no good.  You may return that same statement if you wish.  I'm not sure what that will accomplish in the end.  If you hurt my mother trying to justify yourself, shame on you.
I want this to be done and over.  I want there to be peace in my heart and yours.  I will not dishonor my mother.  I will not speak disrespectfully of her.  This is the last I will say of it.  I guess at one point, I did harbor malice in my heart.  I beg forgiveness for that and for saying anything at all.
I want no pound of flesh.  I want no apology.  I want no concession of any kind.  It is not necessary.  I only want the right to honor my mother.
For any who have joined the conflict or stirred the pot for personal reasons - shame on you.