John 6: 5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming
toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to
eat?” 6 He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was
going to do.
7 Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a
year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”
8 Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother,
spoke up, 9 “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish,
but how far will they go among so many?”
I found myself captured by the test. How do we respond to tests. In the next two chapters, there is much about
testing What was it that Jesus was
testing? I have decided that the greater
part of the test concerned belief. What
did they believe about Jesus? What did
they believe about supply? What did they
believe about God?
Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. What makes us capable of believing? The book of Romans tells us that faith does
not come from ourselves but is a gift from God.
The people ate the bread and they believed but only for the
physical. Jesus reprimanded them. It was a test. They failed.
So they asked, “What must we do to do the works God
requires?”
29 Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in
the one he has sent.”
The miracle of the fish, the miracle of the wine, the
miracle of healing a 38 year invalid should have caused them to look beyond the
physical. But they were not ready to do
that.
37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and
whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from
heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is
the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given
me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone
who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will
raise them up at the last day.”
This should have ignited their hearts, but they were stuck
on the bread. Jesus told them that he
was the bread and wine they needed. He
said they would have to eat and drink him.
They weren't into symbolism.
Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what if
you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life;
the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of
the Spirit and life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.
He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no
longer followed him.
Jesus asked the 12 if they were going to go away also.
68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You
have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and to know that you
are the Holy One of God.”
So I have these questions before me. What if God keeps trying to change the
subject? What if I don't like what I
hear? What if he speaks in storms and
difficulty and joy and quiet and it doesn't sound like what I expect from
God? What if it doesn’t make me feel
good and affirmed as a person? Will I
choose to trust? Will I accept faith as
a gift and choose to believe? Will I
give up my opinion to own Christ?
I believe that initial salvation is accomplished through
faith by simply believing the simple offering of God in Christ. But I also believe that day to day redemption
of my life and mind is accomplished by faith but with much more struggle and
complexity. He has some hard things to
say sometimes. Do I set my jaw, remember
my earthly heritage and turn my steps away?
But where can I go?
He has the words of life and I have come to believe, yes even to know
that he is the Holy One of God.
My comments tend to veer in odd directions (disclaimer), but then I guess these things come to mind when I read something - even if it wasn't the exact point you were making (if that makes any sense).
ReplyDeleteA while back, everything went terribly wrong and I became angry, because I needed it to go right. More than once I said aloud, "I don't know what you want - I can't hear you - I can't see you . . ." And, I just felt that if I understood what direction God wanted my life to go, I could make some kind of peace with that - like it or not - and go from there. But, the desires of my heart were rising up with indignation and I understood that without His blessing, my own plan would go awry.
He never did answer or give me a clear vision. What went wrong led me to rewrite the plan. The plan was ammended a time or two and all the while I continued to pray for some kind of guidance - some kind of clue . . .
So, here I am. And, whatever I needed to come this far was provided - and whatever I need to go the next mile has been provided - and I am still not sure what lies around the next bend or on the other side of the next hill. There have been what I consider some small miracles, and in those moments of worry and doubt, I try to remind myself that I don't see Him or hear Him, or really even know the plan. To be honest, I don't really know His will. I just go to Him and ask him for the intervention I need and try to believe that He is going to provide those things that are in accordance with his plan and when I get to the next place - well, I suppose He will steer me onward or allow everything to go terribly wrong so that I do whatever it is He wants me to do.
That isn't a very sound doctrine, I guess. It surely isn't good planning. But, that's the way it seems to go and I'm getting more and more comfortable with that (at least for the moment). My faith was broken. I try to believe it is being rebuilt. Sometimes that means accepting that I don't know diddly-squat.
Perhaps that is much of the point. He knew what he was going to do. They didn't. He walked them through it piece by piece. The problem with the people was that they thought they knew. They always thought they knew. Faith doesn't go far when you never have a question.
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