Spending time with Abba.

We have a room prepared.  We have a granddaughter who comes regularly to visit -sometimes for a week, sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for a couple of months.  She has clothes here and toys and books and things to do.  When she comes, she doesn’t have to pack a bag, she just shows up.  When we do have to put her in a ‘spare’ room, we put all her things there and she is okay with it.  But as soon as that interruption is done, she’s back in her familiar spot with her stuff.

We buy her stuff, and I won’t say that she never asks for things.  Truth be known, I can’t say she never asks for trivial things that she doesn’t need and we aren’t likely to buy.  But when we don’t give that stuff, she’s okay because she knows we will supply what she needs – not just for survival, but for a good time and some frivolous joy every now and then.

Our time together is not spent in serious debate over behavioral issues –though we do have those.  Our time is not characterized by “I want” and “I need” though that is a part of our relationship.  We dance; we sing; we work; we cook; we eat.  The truth is, we live.  We hug a lot.  We tell each other “I love you.”

I have other grandchildren and I love it when they visit.  I wish they would come more often.  My love for one –no matter how strong and supplying- has no diminishing affect on my love for another.  We do the same things with them when we can.  And yet when they come they must drag along everything they will need of clothing and toys.  Their garments are their own choosing.  Their toys are what their world has provided.  They come with a list of things they want to have and do.  That’s not offensive to us, but it makes for a different relationship.  They see that there is a difference.  They understand the comfortable relationship we have with the other and they think we must like her better.  Sometimes they ask “What would you do with Olivia?”  But the truth is, they don’t know us as well.  They don’t understand us.  They don’t even enjoy many of the simple interactions we have with Olivia.  When we say ‘No’ it is seen as a denial and as lack.  And as much as we love them and want to give to them, their requests seem different as well.

What is the difference then if the love is the same?  The main difference is sheer quantity of time and the results that are produced there.  As I was putting some things away in ‘Olivia’s room’, I was struck by the strength of that time and by the changes that occur naturally in that amount of time.  When someone else comes, the room quickly is adapted to the needs and wants that it will satisfy.  Yet we know that the time will be short and infrequent.  There is no reason for a more permanent solution.

A year ago this month, my youngest daughter came back to live for awhile.  We cleaned Olivia’s stuff out of the larger room.  The smaller room became her room.  She was pleased with the change.  It was sufficient for all her needs.  A bit at a time, we’ve redecorated and the room is even more suited to her personality than the larger one was.

There is a verse that says “In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.”  They are suited to us and our need.  Some people see that simply as a statement of an existence in the future –the afterlife.  But I think we can go visit and help him decorate.  We dance and sing and look at his treasures.  We speak his way and play with what he has supplied and when we cry out he is beside us.  If we say, ‘My shoes are getting small and worn, he doesn’t see it as us trying to get something from him.  He just pulls out a new pair suited to the need.  He knows we’re not trying to get what he gave someone else; it’s between his heart and ours.  We don’t come looking for a ‘good time.’  We simply enjoy being with him.  The more we are there, the more we feel at home in his presence. 

I know this analogy has some hang ups.  But it has some truth for those who will take it.