Work it out!

Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I memorized the verse as a child, though I must say I didn’t have any understanding of it for years.  But the night God called me to salvation it came to life.  God instructed me in a study of grace by faith in the days following my personal commitment to Christ and it has been my mantra through all the craziness of my life, through all the personal struggles with legalism and doctrine, through all the trial and error –lots of error- of growing and walking in this new kingdom. 

I believe lots of things but the Bible is the crucible of my thought.  I believe it to be the word of God to man.  While I believe that God does speak to us in many ways, I also believe that those other ways will not violate his written word.  If it is truly God speaking, it will harmonize and synchronize with the Bible.  Though language is limited by mankind, the ideas and instruction are flawless.  The Holy Spirit will lead us into truth where language may fail.

As an example of what I am saying, I was talking to a friend and colleague once while composing a letter to the parents of my students in a different language.  She laughed at me, explained what I had really said in their language and then said “We would never say that anyway.  It’s not how we think.”  Then she proceeded to help me revise the letter so the parents of my students would understand what I needed to say.

Another issue is that language is constantly evolving.  God does not.  His meaning is the same, though our understanding is sometimes hampered by the passage of time and evolution of our language.  The King James Version, from which I memorized as a child has many passages that were viable when the translation was made, but can be difficult in today’s language.  Yet I believe God protects His word across the barriers of language.

Because I believe in harmony of Scripture and in One Spirit that breathed into the mind of each writer the truth that they set forth in their vernacular, when I run into seeming conflicts in scripture or Christian thought, I take them to my Father and ask for clarity.  I am human. I miss stuff often.  I’m still growing at my ripe age and I love it when God puts reason together for me in answer to my questions.

And so, enter Philippians 2:12 “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling!”  I’ve asked.  I’ve surmised and asked again over the decades of debate and conflicting opinions.  And yesterday morning, God gave me an answer while I struggled with pinning and sanding in the constructing of a project promised some time ago.

My grandfather on my dad’s side was a woodwright and smithy.  He had an awesome tiny woodworking shop behind their meticulous little house in Denver and I would wander in often as a small child.  It was fascinating to me.  Through out my adult life, I have toyed with building things but when I became serious about woodworking a few years ago, I studied the old ways.

My grandmother wanted a nice little desk, often called a secretary, for bill paying, letter writing and such.  They lived sufficiently, but were not extravagant people and he wanted it to be quality wood and workmanship.  The investment of that kind of wood was not in the budget, but he was given a pool table and from that beautiful walnut piece, he made many things including a desk for my grandmother.  It is solid and lovely still, sitting beneath the window in my study.  I’ve always been intrigued by the story but without much understanding.

I promised a fireplace mantel and surround to my daughter last winter.  There was an understanding of sorts that it would be completed before this year’s fire season.  I priced it out in a good quality oak.  Wow! Yeah.  I priced it out in a lesser wood though I have to say I was very disappointed in the trade off.  Summer being what it is in my world, the project was put on the back burner.  A while ago, my husband was given a load of lumber and such from a church that was doing major renovations.  As he unloaded some very large solid oak pieces my mind got busy.  Last weekend, I bought a drill press and then this week I invested in a drill press shelf and fence.  I began the project. 

I am totally excited about what is happening with this beautiful wood.  When it is complete, no one will recall its former shape or purpose at all.  I have struggled to make a cut at times, knowing I only have so much to work with.  I have struggled with removing all traces of contractors glue and the old finish.  I have problem solved and reworked and that will undoubtedly continue until the installation.  My hands hurt; my back hurts; my eyes hurt; my head is stuffed up.  It has been an awesome process so far and I’m not half way finished yet.  At times, my pain is only eclipsed by my excitement at seeing it come together.

During the process, God gave me understanding.  The wood was a free gift.  It was mine to work with via my husband’s gift.  The wood had potential, but was not useful as it was.  Through inspiration and imagination it is becoming something that will adorn and serve.  It’s not easy.  The process makes me weak and tires me.  Since we have not gotten the workshop built, my studio serves for many task, but must be cleaned constantly and adjusted to make the rest of my life doable while the piece develops.  It’s an exhausting, scary, difficult process that involves everything I have to give.  But I’m working it out.  The reward is in the finish.

God gives the free gift of grace through faith to create in us a new life, a new purpose, a new chance.  With his inspiration and strength I am becoming a new creature.  Old things have passed away; everything is being made new. It’s scary sometimes: there are too many ‘what ifs?’.  Sometimes I hurt; sometimes I’m amazed.  I get shaky; I make mistakes.  But God is always there to answer and inspire, to strengthen and apply more grace.  He cleans me up so that I can continue.  Though I need Him in every moment, every endeavor, he has given me tools, knowledge and materials and he is creating a new me through my actions and learning day by day.  I am working out “My salvation with fear and trembling” not on my own, not in human terms but by grace through faith I am becoming.  By grace, because God is my source.  Through faith, because I can only see one step at a time and God has promised he will never abandon me regardless of how I feel or what I see.  He destined me to be like his son Jesus.  It will take every energy and every day of my life.  It’s not an easy process, but worth it totally.