Psalm 37 - Beginning with trust and delight

My constant struggle with disappointment has to be resolved.  After a morning when things said coupled with memories of things that should not have been said or done left me in the mood to just stay home from Church, I sat against the back wall and asked God to help me to find my way out of this maze of emotion and injustice.  
It’s not that I think I’m perfect-that's another blog, but this world I live in can be populated with unkind and inconsiderate people.  Sometimes they can be downright mean and strike hurting blows without even thinking twice about what they say or do.  In some cases they may not even recognize they’ve done it. It becomes a senseless whirlwind where everyone has the right to be whatever, whenever and there is no real right or wrong.  It still hurts.  Worse, it keeps me off balance spiritually.

God reminded me there among the music and worshipping that he began answering my prayer before it was prayed.  I recalled something I’d heard a few days earlier that went deep into my heart.  “Teach me to be renewed, Father,” I whispered in tears.

To that prayer was added words from our observation of communion and then from the preacher's message.  I came home with a resolve to change how I looked at my world, family and friends.  And I had a phrase lodged in my spirit by God.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

That led me Monday morning to the 37th Psalm.  My plea at the beginning of my personal time was simply “Just meet me here and help me understand.  Help me get past this and get on with my life.” And I read “Don’t fret over those who do evil.  Don’t envy them for they come and go like flowers in the grassy field.”

I began reading and taking notes so fast, that my mind could barely process it.  “The success or failure of people who do wrong is not my business. Trust God and behave. Occupy your spot and make it the best you can. Make it a place of peace and safety. Let God be your delight and he will give you what your heart desires.”

My mind interrupts at that point.  I think perhaps that is the most poorly used verse in the whole bible.  We have so many desires and we ask for things daily that don’t- perhaps can’t, and probably shouldn’t- happen.  That kind of prayer/thinking cycle can wear at our spirit and our faith. 

I’ve never been much of a ‘name it; claim it’ sort.  That logic seems like the greed that Paul warned about and defined as idolatry.  It appears there is an attitude of “I want it, so it must be right and I will have it or God’s not doing what he said.”  So I asked God for understanding and I spent the next hour or more in an interchange of spirit and scripture.

When God is my delight, everything changes. Parameters change. I don't have to be dissatisfied with the limits in my life if my delight is in God. I don't have to be desirous of more or constantly pushing the boundaries if God is my delight. God will enlarge my dwelling in his own way if he is my delight. Neither must I be contained by the boundaries of my society.

My relationship to stuff changes when God is my delight. That is not theoretical. I have seen it at work in my life many times. When my mind is delighted with God, physical stuff takes on a new dimension. I am more thankful for the stuff I have and I'm more conscious of my use of stuff.  It’s easier to let stuff go without a full blown tantrum.  When God is not my delight, I cannot get enough to satisfy any other part of my world. I also get bored easily with the stuff I have.

Relationships change when God is my delight. The desire for others to accept, appreciate and affirm me fades. It's not that I don't care about other people or what they think any longer, but it takes on a new perspective.  I can let them deal with their problems and remain true to myself and my God. But when the Lord is no longer my delight, my concern, my enjoyment, my expectations all become skewed, self-centered and disillusioned.

And so I begin to understand that the answer to my own dilemma is a journey that begins equally with trust and delight in my God.  He says that if I will begin there, he will take my cause up and make it shine like the dawn.  He will make the justice of my cause as apparent as the noon day sun.  He himself will be responsible for me when I am trusting fully and delighted by him. That is a good place to begin.