To Each His Own

I got pulled off teaching art into a philosophical discussion. At first the student began with the common combative faith questions. I gave him serious, sincere answers. He was responding very positively once he saw I wasn't giving stock answers but those I have accepted from a position of seeking.

After one question, I told the student "I sometimes say 'I do believe I'm always right. If I don't think I'm right, I change my mind and then I'm right.'" I told him I say it as a joke, but then, maybe not.

He responded "I get that. You think about things before forming your opinion and you're willing to change but only if you've thought it through." It surprised me. He really did understand what I was saying. I respected him more for his thought process than for his opinion of what I said.

I have a very strong ethic about teaching when I'm supposed to be teaching and what I'm supposed to be teaching. Most of the time, I'm paid to teach art. Integrity says I teach art. When his mother signed him up for my classes, she said she felt like I was an honest and stable Christian and since he is struggling some with his belief, if I wanted to get off subject with her son she wouldn't be offended. I looked at some of his questions on Friday after the fact, and some of my answers after the fact, and I'm not so sure she would have approved of all of them.

Yet I was honest even if not totally conventional in my answers. I know what I believe and I know why I believe it. I don't change easily. It's not because I'm against change, but change has to be for the right reasons. It's very easy to get on a bandwagon, to make snap decisions based on emotion, partial information or other people's opinions. It's easy to soften or even abandon our belief to placate or support someone we care about. It's just as easy to spout quotes and opinions of people instead of pursuing a belief we can get behind with our entire mind and heart.

We can search for truth, but because of our Humanity, our backgrounds, and our teaching, there are truths that we may never totally understand until we get to heaven and have an unclouded viewpoint. This young man is searching for his own truth. To a degree he's rejecting his parents' truth simply because it is his parents' truth and he sees some discrepancy in their lives. That discrepancy, of itself, has no bearing on whether their truth is true. The strange part that I see, is that there are parts of that truth that have been so ingrained in him that he is unwilling to give them up even if they create instability with his new “truth.”

I encouraged him to look for truth, to make it an honest pursuit, to not settle until he had uncovered a truth he could live from, a truth he was willing to die for. Personally, I don't think he's ready to do that. I don't think he has the stamina, the courage or the discipline to do that -yet. But at least I put into his head that he can and should find truth for himself.

I told him that my truth is based in my understanding and search for God and it is very personal to me but that I understand there are things I may never totally understand in this life but I have what I need to live and to die. He seemed to accept that -for me. But that's what faith and truth are really all about: my truth; my faith.

Some of the questions: How do you know you personally have THE truth? Do you belief in life on other planets? What do you believe about activism? Is one sin worse than another? What do you think about Black Lives Matter? There were more.

I recall one Sunday morning when I was praying for family and friends. A man in our church said. “This is your gift. Open your hands and receive the gift of God for you.” I told God I wasn't concerned with receiving the gift for myself. I want all the people I love to get that gift. God spoke very surely to my spirit. “It is your gift. You cannot share it, you cannot give it away.” I felt suddenly sad and tears welled up into an unspoken protest. But to my pain he replied. “You can tell others where you got it. I have enough for every person on earth.”