Cast a pleasant shadow.

The picture was taken in Tulsa in February. Be sure to enlarge it. At the bottom of your internet window is a percentage tool that will let you zoom in somemore. The bigger I get this one the better I like it.
The following write is one from my elementary ed days. I ran into it a little while ago and put it on my computer. It's true that I see myself differently than others do. You name it, teaching, clothing, hair, house, studio, what ever, I pick it apart or if I'm busy,maybe I ignore it. I often have trouble deciding what others will find important or appealing. Though this is incident specific, I still see it as valid.
I cast a pleasant shadow. Seeing my shadow is a definite surprise.
In the mirror I see a different me: all lined and harried, a splotch of paint laying on my skirt- dry clean only. In the mirror I see a smudge of graphite comically wander off one side of my nose where I touch my glasses frequently to keep them in place. In the mirror I notice that my figure is switching emphasis. In the mirror I see grey strands multiplying.
As I rush to my car, I find myself recapping my instruction. Did they see what I see? Is my nose smudged? Is my skirt marred? Is my hair too grey? Of course, I’m really thinking about projects and supplies and management techniques, but it’s all the same. Was I too lenient; was I too strict? Did they understand? Did they learn? Did they love it?
Before me I see my own shadow. The shadow doesn’t show my sags, bags, strands and splotches.
I ran into one of last year’s students at the 4^th of July celebration. He drug me over to meet his dad and then asked me to stay and watch the fireworks with them. His dad obviously felt as awkward as I did. We both smiled, hemhawed and excused and I went back to my family.
When I thought about what had happened. It surprised me and made me chuckle. The child hadn't seen the obvious age difference or the fact that I had a waiting family. He just knew that his dad was alone and he kind of likes the art teacher for what ever reason. Maybe I was kind one day when he needed kindness. Maybe he felt success or pride in his work. Maybe I seemed like I had it together. Maybe I was just always there. For what ever reason, I cast a pleasant shadow.