The first time I saw Jessica she was maybe 2 or 3: a darkhaired, quiet voiced, sparkling eyed beauty. She became my daughter's girl, a sweetie, well behaved, soft spoken. Then the armpit of life, the assault on humanity known as puberty, attacked her. On the outside nothing really changed, but on the inside, she became 14. Now she's trying to right every injustice she's ever felt or assumed - I am not downgrading anything she may have gone through - in her 14 years by attacking her family. Only time and God will know the extent of healing truth or rampant damage brought forward this week. My heart breaks. There are some accusations that I will assume are false unless I am forced to believe them. Only one thing I know of would make me believe them.
Another daughter had to serve truth to her own pain and the pain of her offspring. She has cried a lot because it resulted in the knowledge that what seemed fixed is still broken. I hurt for her but believe that truth is the only thing that can bring them to redemption.
Another daughter is learning to stand ripped and torn and say to her humbled, ruined world "ENOUGH!" It is time for the pain to end and reason to reign in her life. It is time for truth and redemtion to take over and make sense of her patience and anguish. It is time for her gift of supernatural tenacity to change course. She has been warned that ahead is a long road full of danger, disappointment and discouragement, that she has much yet to suffer. Yet it is not a road totally devoid of hope or help and it is the road she must travel to have the chance at recovering.
In my heart I survey the devastated terrain about me and cry out "Grace and Mercy! Truth and Justice! Come Father with hope and strength for the day. Arise with healing in your wings."
Not everything in the week has been bad. The mama rabbit took her babies and indignantly vacated my garden showing utter disrespect for the yert built by my husband over their tiny rabbit nest and the four unseeing babes! Yay. My cucumbers are planted.
We celebrated my granddaughter's fifth birthday with shopping, cake and ice cream, and a fun little photo shoot that she really ate up. Her 21 year old sister came by with a present and wishes and had breakfast with us and though she was saddened and weary from the family ordeal, she blessed us greatly.
Many friends have gathered before my God to pray for my family and their situations. I am so greatful for their persistence and care.
So this is another day with it's coffee and sunrise. It begins cool, but with promise. It holds further questions and I am sure trials. I stand before my Father and cry "Grace and Mercy for this day then. Bring truth and restore our strength for the day. Redeem us O LORD."
Dear friends, be blessed and be a blessing today. It belongs to God after all.
You never really know how much suffering is ahead . . . or when the hope will manifest its promise. No - it will likely not be easy. But, change comes to me like the startling shift of a fault line. Good change comes in an equal way. We cannot always see or understand how God works - and what the end result will be. So, I will prepare myself for the hardship, but still attempt to hope for that mysterious grace that redeems the lost.
ReplyDeleteSimon told me last night that he is amazed by how I keep going . . . He was cracking jokes when he said it and my mind and emotions are so exhausted that I can't even recall them in detail; only that I laughed. I do not see what he claims to see. Regardless, I had to smile when you spoke of supernatural tenacity; and in such a dark hour when I am utterly spent, smiles are good.
And, I love P . . . I will believe the best about him until I have a solid reason to believe otherwise. He does not deserve this.
ReplyDeleteAs I have said, only one thing would change my mind. But even that would not change my heart.
ReplyDeleteMercy. I do hope for a resolution to this.
ReplyDeleteAlways praying...for both our families and your daughters and their children and me and mine and my hubby and grandboy....Mercy, Grace....very powerful words.....Jesus...the most powerful name....
ReplyDeleteAs you can imagine, much of what has occurred in your world has been prominent in my mind of late.
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that there is a theme running through recent events, and that theme is "injustice". Some of the injustice felt is real and some is imagined and some is just plain lies, told to justify the unjustifiable.
Life is about rules. We follow them because, no matter what sense of injustice we may have occasionally felt as a child, we have learned the wisdom behind them, and as parents we endeavour to pass this wisdom on. A small child has no concept of consequences or consideration of others, their whole life is about "me" and "now", but there comes a point where we must all learn to consider others, take responsibility for our own actions and realise that tantrums are counter productive.
I feel a sense of injustice too. It is not right that children these days seem to be able to reject this. They want what they want and they want it now and God help anyone who stands in their way. I can only try to imagine the injustice felt by yourself and the genuinely wronged parties. It makes me want to sharpen my sword and charge in slashing wildly.
It made me smile however, to read of the imagined injustice felt by a rabbit and a small child who, amidst chaos, need only concern herself with ice cream and cake, "me" and "now". It was like birdsong on the battlefield between bombardments. Let's hope that the guns are soon silenced, the casualties minimised and the wounds healed.
Thinking of you all
I am a fixer, the knite-ess in shining armor that comes in with her sword or in my case a good Louisville Slugger, and I wipe out injustice, i bean the rude and the ones who would devistate others, i offer refuge to the weak and sorrowful. i wish them peace.
ReplyDeleteI love you all. I cannot stop loving because of circumstance or innuendo.
His Grace and Mercy are new everyday, I am praying for extra helpings for my families who are hurting so (all of you), and I pray for peace of spirit for all those who have been wounded deep in their heart of hearts.
peace. Peace, grace and mercy.
ReplyDeleteWhen disaster comes - or even constant stress - it can harden a person - better to stay soft and pliable in our hearts so that after the fallout we can come to that place of resolution and peace. I struggle with getting angry -but I'm learning.
You display such compassion, Donna. You inspire me to seek keeping my own heart a bit softer...