Deconstruction

I have gained much from the effort of this past two weeks.  It's only been two weeks???  The physical gains are obvious.  I've lost a few pounds.  My clothing is loose, my joints are moving normally.  The pain I have from time to time is totally doable.  I am not in constant pain.  I sleep better - except for the occasional cramp that sends me hopping and moaning about the house at various hours.  Even the cramping has lessened the past two nights.
But the side effect is that I've had a lot of thinking processes being pulled at as well.  I wake with a much more positive outlook and a physical drive which is not always matched by strength in this somewhat depleted state.  I've become much more aware of the space about me.  One side note in all this was to avoid bruising.  I've seen why.  Each time I bang my body into something, it forms much larger and more intense bruising.  The program is referred to as a whole body cleanse.
I am now considering it a deconstruction process of sorts.  In taking things out for renovation, there are two processes: demolition and deconstruction.  In demolition, we just whack and tear without much regard for what we are taking out.  It will be discarded and time is much more important than the stuff we are taking out.  Deconstruction takes more time.  It salvages as much as possible knowing that some loss will occur, but that reclaimed items save in the long run.  Deconstruction uses caution knowing there are things that must not be destroyed.  It respects pipes and wires and structural elements that will be retained or reused.  Demolition is initially more rewarding, but deconstruction is eventually more rewarding.
In these past two weeks, my body has been deconstructing.  Toxins have been being pulled out of my bones, joints, blood vessels and digestive system.  I feel that.  But I realize that I am an empty space so to speak.  I want the new me to be quality work and durable. 
I have learned that the main battle in any battle is the battle of the mind.  For me this battle was a no brainer.  For several years, the pain and disability within me has been growing.  I had gotten to a place where my knees and hips hurt so badly, it was very hard to sleep at night for if one was comfortable, the others were not.  I had to have a thick pad to kneel at all and then getting back upright was quite difficult.  The stiffness of my joints made balance a tricky thing and a sudden move or unexpected change could easily sprawl my body across the ground or floor.  But I was enduring and making the best of a bad situation.  Suddenly there was no best.  The pain and stiffness was something I couldn't even push through.  I could not just get on with it and ignore the pain.  I saw a lifestyle of pain meds and steroids as a non-option.  So when this was presented to me, it was worth my best effort.  I was fresh out of options.  That's not always a bad place to be.
Another thing I learned is that taste is acquired and deceptive.  I learned that to a clean palette, tastes are more defined and more enjoyable.  Why do I need to use copious amounts of salt and butter?  Because I can't taste or don't like the taste of the food.  But this week, I have learned to appreciate the taste of an ear of corn without the additives.  I've learned to season vegetables with other vegetables and herbs in a way that have delighted my tastebuds.  By having to work with whole raw fruit and vegetables only, I have gotten creative and learned a lot about my own desires and how they can relate to my success and failure in life.  I made the choice that success is more important than gratification.  Success lasts, gratification ends quickly.  If it had not been for the time cleansing my taste buds of their demand for spice and salt, I might never have known.  The implications go much further than food.
I learned that food is a means to an end.  Uncontrolled, the end is undesired.  Controlled, the end is rewarding.  Sometimes what goes in doesn't come out.  It stays and causes pain and deterioration.  My eating had become more of an amusement park experience.  I had fun, waited for the next fun, and then waited again: always impatient, always wanting more.  I was getting nowhere but unbalanced and tired, yet not ready for reality.  Don't get me wrong, I love to cook and I still will love to cook.  But maybe my definition of 'good' has changed in the past two weeks.  This also is perhaps a life lesson.
I have seen that on the best days, there will be temptation or roadblocks when you aren't watching carefully and sometimes even if you are.  I've seen that on the worst days, there is good to be enjoyed if you will allow it.  Needing to be able to laugh at yourself is more important than being able to look like you have it all together.  Some things are worth whatever you've got; somethings are not. You must choose.  What you avoid with dread can sometimes become a legitimate purpose, but you will never know unless you decide to act on your faith.  We seldom walk in faith without crisis.   We should not create a crisis, but when faced with one, we must use creative faith.
I learned that guidelines are just that.  No life plan will fit all people perfectly.  You must use intelligent wisdom along with creative faith.  When faced with unchangeable facts, adjustment is better than abandonment in almost every case.  Considering how my body reacts to certain things allowed me success in what could have been disaster.  The result leaves me with hope instead of defeat.
Now the process of rebuilding must be addressed. I enjoy designing and I enjoy building.  I am a creative person; I get to decide, within limits, how I will design the new me for function and aesthetic.  I have guidelines, I have information and I am gaining more whereever I find it.  Within those guidelines I will search for truth.  One thing I know, what ever I build, I will probably live with for the rest of my earth life.  It must be effective.  It must be doable.
These are my thoughts on this last day of my cleanse.
Blessings.