Tuesday, April 24, 2012
'mama'
She always talks about how bad she wanted a family and how desperately she loved her children. Funny, that's not the message I ever got. How could we be so close and miss each other so far. I only planned the birth of one child. So I wonder how those kids relate to me when they think of 'mama'. - Okay, I mean when they aren't mad at me. Then I know the answer. I have a lot of memories. I wonder how many are colored by personal feelings and opinions. Maybe the reason we can't change the past, is because it may have not even happened that way. Lot's of reflections this cool but promising morning. . . . . . . The coffee is good. The trash is out. Monday is a memory and Tuesday is to be discovered. Be blessed my friends.
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A morning sun. One of thousands in the album of my life. Each one of them brought its own blessing and woe. For the moment, I gaze out at the greenery out my widow and ponder them.
ReplyDeleteThe coffee is good, the smell of toast is wafting in from the kitchen, I meet with the Rabbi later today to lay out plans for the building ...
Good morning. :)
I hope the 'plans' phase is blessed beyond measure. I own a definite twist in my gut. It is mine now. My world is green and distracts me for a bit. It actually feels pretty good most of the time.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, (all the answers I come up are not flattering so maybe they are better left unsaid) her imagined or real need of a family stemmed from her own need for self worth, but unfortunately, that did not fill the empty spot in her heart because she was the only one in her heart.
ReplyDeleteI believe our memories help shape us into how we look at the world. I try to remember good memories, memories I want to play out and pass on to my family. The not so hot memories also shape me but I pull them out when they need to be dusted...dust them off, ponder the events of the memory, thank the Almighty for helping me rise above them or be better for them and then put them back in the box.
I hope, hope, hope, your day was a little better today.
Yesterday was a better day. We did not get any 'news' yesterday. My 'mom' time was frustrating as you can tell, but I wonder how much of that is me - probably a lot.
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