Looking Past the Limit

If you have faith . . . . .  Ask and it shall be given . . . . .  If two of you agree as touching anything . . . . .

There are so many opinions and formulas about us for getting God on our side and cornering him into do as we wish.  We call it a life of faith, but is it?

I hear Tevye saying “So what would it hurt if I had a small fortune?”  Of course those of us who have watched the movie many times over know that he never got his ‘small fortune.’  But he did get some answers to both the abstract and the concrete needs.

For a few years now, I have been studying and contemplating and even praying for understanding in the subject of faith.  I have, for most of my spiritual life, felt a call to pray for others.  Sometimes God just zaps that prayer right into the system and the answer surprises even me.  Many times, I struggle with the prayer and the answer.  Sometimes it seems that God has gone on vacation and left his spiritual cell phone at home.  The great need that I am presenting is ignored totally.  What do I do with that?

I know some people have a ‘pat answer,’ something very spiritual sounding, that sits in reserve for those times when other people struggle and perhaps even for the times when they feel neglected or disappointed in the response of God.  I’ve never felt very good about those answers.

So, while this is incomplete, I am sure, I will give you what I feel I have gotten in my study and processing.  It’s nothing that will plug into your life and make your prayers successful –or maybe it is.  That probably depends on what you do with it.  It is not an excuse or a formula.  It’s not a pat answer, though it may become one in time.  Forgive me if that ever happens.

What does it mean to ‘ask in faith, believing’?  I will offer that the most commonly answered prayers in my life seem to be the childlike screams for help.  Yet when I try to give a childlike scream to the situation, it is probably the most ignored.  I think most parents will understand this even if they don’t want to apply it to prayer.

First of all, what do I have faith in?  Do I believe in the ability to frame the request perfectly?  Do I trust the intensity of my cry?  Do I have ultimate faith in the liaison I get to agree on earth for this request?  I must admit I have come through all these in my search for effective prayer.  Sometimes the thought embarrasses me.  The one thing I forget most often to trust is the power, love and righteousness of my God.  Do my requests oppose his character and will?  Am I even willing to consider that in my angst God may be showing love and grace and working in ways I cannot imagine?  I don’t think I am –not in the moment of angst.  In that moment, I just want relief from fear, for it is fear that most frequently drives my prayer life.  Fear of the boogie man around the corner: disease, disappointment, financial stress or ruin for myself or others, is most often foremost in my mind when I pray.  If God doesn’t come through as I envision, I truly believe my life, or that of my loved ones, will be effectively ruined.  What if I believed in the character of God as much as the power of those things I fear?  How would that change my prayer?

Once, while praying in fear of an impending storm, I was asked by God “What if the only way you could truly know me was to go through the storm?”  After thought, I replied, “Just stay with me and let me know you truly are here with me.”  The destruction did not come that day.  But what came was a certain relief from fear.  I still have concerns; I still pray for protection.  But something has changed. 

I asked God for something I really wanted and believed would be right to be granted by Christmas.  I stood before him hurt and neglected feeling and said “I asked and I did not receive.”  I felt God say “So what is next?”  It was as though he was waiting.  Tears began to flow and I said “I choose to trust you.  I choose to trust your power to do that thing; but I also choose to trust your decision not to as one of love and grace and wisdom.”

Frankly, I have always looked at those responses as though they were an excuse for God just not coming through because of our lack of faith or protocol.  But I am beginning to learn that truth and wisdom are as much a part of God’s character as grace and love.  My asking pleases God.  I feel that.  His response often confuses me.  I know he knows that and perhaps it is the most important part of my learning about prayer and faith.  I’m more concerned –as were his disciples- with the quantity of my faith than I am with the character and plan of God.  He said “If you have faith at all, . . . . “  So I have begun to ask myself what it is that I believe in.  I am praying the same prayers, but they are different these days.  I am seeing about the same percentage of direct answers.  Yet I know God is at work in ways I cannot imagine.  I realize that it takes faith to know that and trust that, if the results don’t match my intention and desire, God is still on my side, or theirs; God is at work always.  God can do nothing outside truth and righteousness and love and wisdom.  These are not his limitations, they are his greatest answers. 

And I am learning to wait on the answer instead of throwing a fit sometimes.  I think He sees that as progress –and faith.  I believe that pleases Him.  If He is truly all powerful and love is his character, that is a big step.