What do we glorify?

As a child I attended a very conservative and legalistic church and school.  They gave me a foundation that I am thankful for.  They embedded scripture in my mind.  They provided an example of exemplary living.  They demanded discipline. They taught me to search for their truth and find it.

But, they taught me to trust my own strength and the strength of leaders.  They taught me to skip over or explain away verses in the Bible that did not agree with their personal philosophy and theology.  They taught me to condemn, criticize and disassociate those with different belief or experience.   They gave me a behavior standard that said to my heart “If you do this you will be better than the rest of the world and God will love you.”  Yet because it was a standard that changed with the ideas and prejudices of the leaders, I had a difficult time coming to a position of faith in Christ.  I found myself searching in all the wrong ‘teaching’ for answers that eluded me and them.  They would have called me a heretic at that point.  I am so grateful that God broke through all that to find me and draw me and then train me to think in a new way.  And still, I am grateful for the usable tools that they forced into my brain when I was a child.

I’ve always had a bit of rebel in me.  God knows it hasn’t always served me well, but at times it has made me stop and say “NO!  I respect your knowledge and your experience, but the Bible does not say that.”  Generally I lacked wisdom in who to share that eureka with and found myself in ecclesiastical distress a lot.  My grandmother, raised in a Jewish family, left Judaic thought for Christianity in the early part of the 20th century. Her approach to morality and faith was very black and white.  My father, raised by a woman who had that strong training in both arenas toward living and believing, put off Christianity for many years because he knew when he accepted it, his life and thinking would be very ‘black and white.’  I love nuances of gray and hints of color in the natural world, I see diverse sides of the same argument often.  My brain asks “What if?” a lot.  But my father’s discipline, my grandmother’s influence, has left me quite opinionated in areas of morality and spiritual responsibility –with just a touch of humor thrown in.

A few years ago a well meaning individual, who went to the school and church I attended as a child, started a Facebook page for people to reconnect and reminisce.  Of course, I joined.  I wanted that contact.  I respect the cradle of my personal civilization.  I dug up pictures and posted them, I reconnected to people who I hadn’t seen or heard from in decades.  A great door to my past was cracking open.

But as it cracked open, I began to see other memories not so pleasant.  People began to express their faith and freedom.  People began to exchange opinions.  People began to tell about their lives and the self-appointed watchdog guardians of the ‘past’ recoiled and snarled.  They insulted, they berated, they condemned.  They took control.  They banished members.  They exalted former leaders to deity.  Their new form of idolatry was amazing.  I stopped visiting.  Since I was not one who opposed them openly, I was not banned or discontinued as a member, but I had no desire or need to visit the ‘page’.

On occasions, I would see some item of interest –mostly the passing of people who I knew and who had influenced my deranged pre-faith thinking patterns.  I would go and read the eulogies, the worshipful remembrance.  The passing of these people brought a sadness, for though I found discouragement and condemnation in their memory, it was a great part of my past and foundation that was dissolving one block at a time.

This morning I had cause to visit the page.  And the moderator had posted a call to ‘keep the posts on focus and respect the purpose of the page,’ in reply to a lady posting pictures of her first grand child and sharing the joy of that experience.  I came out of my shell.  Yes I did. 

I told said moderator that it really wasn’t clear what the focus and purpose of the page was.  It claimed to be a place to reconnect.  I asserted that I really hoped to find out what happened to many of my former classmate and friends at church.  I wanted to know what they had accomplished, who they married, where they lived.

It also claimed to be a place to reminisce.  I interjected that I had many memories of the place but like my father (who was a well respected man in the structure) I often saw the irony and the humor of the situations that transpired there – something I’m sure the page would never tolerate.  I also decried their leader worship and insisted that none of those who they glorify would want that in the place where they now abide.

I feel certain that I have put myself in a position to be banned.  Actually, I’m really okay with that.

I have an addendum.  The man answered me civilly, asserted that it wasn’t the place for random pictures that had no connection to the church or school and agreed that he wished he knew about the people as well.  And how is he going to do that?  He didn’t say.  I guess I won’t be banned.  Sigh.

2nd addendum.  My comments received positive support from other members as did the woman's announcement of the birth of her grandchild.  Perhaps that will signal a change in attitude.  I can hope, can't I.