A dogs tale.

Yesterday I actually did see the dogs as human types.  That's a little wierd I know, but there they were: some despondent, some aggressively angry, some anxious to be noticed, all of them incarcerated for being simply what they are -dogs that no one cared about.  Frankly, I didn't really care about most of them either.  That's sad.  But I did have sympathy with their plight.  There are so many and I was determined to make a difference for one of them.  I stayed way longer than I had intended and came away empty.  It had an extreme effect on my thinking for the rest of the day and even this morning.
I consider myself a good pet owner.  My dad loved animals, but he knew and impressed us about the responsibility you have when you take on an animal.  You aren't just its owner, you are its guardian, its companion.  You are responsible for its well being not just its sustanence.  That little guy -or big guy- has to have reason and understanding.  I've recently learned that even a possum can find the food dish and a soft warm bed.  No we didn't encourage or permit that, but we did find it funny and informative.
So in considering emancipating one of those animals there is much to consider.  Has anyone mentioned that I'm a little OCD?  I must physically be able to handle the animal.  When I went back to look at the big dogs, I saw 3 that were not barking their heads off, snarling or frantically banging about in their cages as I walked about.  One was a very large chocolate lab.  The poor dog was quiet and attractive, and labs are one of my favorite.  I was concerned about whether I could control him, but really I was grossed out by the huge amount of poop in his kennel.  He had stepped in it and it stunk horribly.  I really didn't want to bring him out and have him jump on me or track it about and I knew I would not want to put him in my car.  I avoided the one dog that I had really planned to see.
There was a golden shepherd.  A beautiful dog.  A quiet dog.  I asked to see her.  When they brought her in, she was frantic.  She jumped and banged into the walls and whined and barked.  I couldn't keep the leash on her.  I couldn't get the leash on her.  She's young and big.  My body has limitations these days.  She didn't seem to like me in the least and I thought "We might be able to win her over in time, but how many fees will I pay to bring her back home before we get there if we ever do.  How much will she tear up in her terror?  I wasn't willing to risk it.  She just wasn't my dog and I knew it.
I thought about the lab again, but it was getting late and all the aforementioned misgivings remained.  I decided I'd look at a shih tzu.  He was the quietest of the little dogs - a year old silver.  I'm sure he's not okay.  He wasn't bouncy or pleased when we brought him out.  He wanted nothing to do with me; he just needed to pee - on everything.  It was a male thing, I know, but it was a turn off.  He would be an inside dog if I took him.  How long would I put up with him marking my house, my studio, my garage.  If I were going to put up with that, I'd have to have a good reason, a reasonable hope that it would become a good relationship.  He gave me none in that short span of time.  So I left.  Yeah, I left pee everywhere, gave them their dog back and departed.
Last night, Jimmy -a very well trained black lab- came to our fellowship.  I've been around Jimmy before.  He's gorgeous, super well behaved, incredibly intelligent and very playful.  He doesn't bark a lot.  When his person says 'sit down' he sits down.  If you want his attention, he's friendly.  If you recoil, he moves on.  He's not a jumper.  Yeah, I want Jimmy!  
Actually, I don't.  He is my friend's dog and my friend made him 'Jimmy'.  If I had a lab, it would surely be a different character, for I am a different person.  Yet I see the potential and like the thought.  My one drawback is that I have a pool.  I've been told he will get in the pool.  I'm considering pool gates.  So my mind goes back to the chocolate.  What if I express my concern?  What if I take a sheet along?  What if I just bring him out and visit with him a little -just to see?  Perhaps part of why I left without checking the chocolate out is because I didn't want to be disappointed.  I have a cat.  He's really a wierd cat.  No comfort pet, no companion there.  He's a cat, not a dog, I know.  Yet, it's not really a satisfying relationship.  I'm a cat person; it should be.  At the humane society yesterday, there was a free ranging tabby cat in the main lobby.  As I was talking to the woman the cat jumped up on the counter and started rubbing on me.  I began petting her.  She rolled over on her belly and then attacked my hand.  The lady said, "I guess she's feeling friskey today." But honestly, I bring that out in cats.  I'm not sure what I bring out in dogs.
When my daughter and her kids lived with us, they would say "Don't kick my dog!"  That dog was always attacking my little doggie.  I didn't kick her, but I wasn't above sticking my toe under her small body and tossing her away or out.  I guess to them I was kicking.  But to this day, that dog loves me.  When I'm around her, she's all over me.  When she lived in my house, she obeyed.  Yet Phizgig was stubborn.  I didn't beat her into subjection, though a couple of times I put the fear of G-ma in my grandkids when the dog made me mad.  I wasn't ever cruel and until we got another dog she adored me.  After that she became a dog's dog.  She still would sit for grooming, but she played with and showed affection to the other dog.  With dogs, frankly it's all about us.  We will have the center spot.  We cared for Phizgig until the day she died.  But she wasn't as much of a pet as we would have liked.
And so it's been a year since her passing.  I would like a dog to walk with, to travel with, to be a pet that needs and adores me.  I want a dog that thinks and communicates and can be trained to be a functional part of our world.  For that I will feed, groom, scratch, throw toys, buy toys, provide a soft warm place to lay, pay vet bills and administer restraints.  That's how I was raised.  So the search will continue.