First
there was 360. I remember so many nights when friends and family from
different locales would gather to read, comment, laugh, cry and share
life in general across the WWW. We were all learning about virtual
family and friends. It was used; it was misused. It was us being us,
naughty or nice.
I was
a writer by nature. Poetry, prose, proselytizing, testifying, you
name it. If it had letters to words to sentences to ideas, I loved
to do it whether I was good or not. I found a venue for my script in
360. “My space” was also a popular social venue, but it was too
edgy and problematic for my tastes. Obviously many others agreed and
360 was filled with opinionated but reasoning, intelligent and
creative human beings from across ideology and space.
I love
to compose photographs. With a journalistic background of many forms,
I found myself posting photographs regularly which attached me to
other photographers, both professionals and hobbyists. There were
forums and contests and journals. Some of the photography came with
writing; some came as is. Some was stunning, purist revelation of
life with its pros and cons. Some was contrived and silly, nouveau,
cliché, photoshopped. We were all discovering and we put up with
other, pretty much, regardless of our bent.
There
were art communities. I posted my art and began a website for my
studio that I connected to my page. It was a refining, revealing
association. I was stuck in reality, but I was learning to live
vicariously. I was learning about virtual relationships. I was
learning to love virtually and vicariously. What an awesome,
stretching time of discovery. One professor in a developing nation
actually got people physically together on neutral soil. How I
wished I had known and gone!
But
360 became commercial. It left us and then it died. We were
devastated. In the waning days we discussed where we would go. It
was like the pogroms of northern Europe. We contacted our people, we
packed our bags and like the people of Anatevka, we met, blessed each
other and sadly, unwillingly, drug our behinds to other social
endeavors.
Most
of us landed at an up and coming venue called Multiply. Familiar
faces on the avatars, room for old habits and associations quickly
made us feel this -though different in landscape- was not such a bad
home. It held promise. We learned, we adapted and we accepted our
new virtual life. We had virtual word and photo contests, we shared
artwork and collaborated on creative ventures. We fought, supported,
chose sides or not. We had a virtual international art gallery
started by a man who was a retired Forest Ranger and had developed a
business from his photographic hobby.
And we
spent hours learning about each other, laughing, dreaming, sharing.
We'd truly found a new home. And then we got the word: Multiply was
going to become an online business site and would no longer support
social pages. Again?!
The
new kid on the block was Facebook. Though most of us would end up
there, most of us realized it would not have the depth of creativity
and thought that we had pretty much cultivated as a group in 360 and
Multiply. Many of us would diversify our social interaction. We
searched out creative venues communicated where we were going and
left less sad than aggrivated this time. There would be no cohesive
mass migration as there was to Multiply. People were shot off in
various directions to find a new home and a few followers for their
serious social interaction.
Over
time those who did reconnect at Facebook would accept its shallow
application of virtual friendship. It grew larger, more diverse but
less intimate and connected than the old abode. Those who wanted to
share their creative efforts did so, however, we were living minute
to minute in our own individual world. Yet there was interaction and
people could hope it would develop into some layer of depth.
Enter
the like button with it's diversification and a huge push to make
that an all inclusive interaction tool. Enter commercial pages that
moved huge chunks of advertising from the sidebar to the center.
Enter emojis, memes and gifs to take the place of well thought out
comments and compositions.
As I
think of it, I remember my short foray into professional journalism.
I was working for a local news paper as a photographer and copy
writer when a huge push for holiday ad production was announced. It
was never my intent to become an advertiser, I had worked in ad
production and didn't like the bulk of it even though I understood
the money it generated. Dutifully I took my prescribed stack of
oversold adds and got busy.
After
the holiday, I returned to shortened field hours and a stack of
advertisements to produce. I paid a less than happy visit to my
supervisor and ended up with the guy ultimately in charge. He looked
me in the eye somewhat sympathetically and said, “You're a talented
writer and a good photographer, but that's not what keeps the paper
afloat. These clients want you to do their adds and they pay our
salary, if you get my drift. If you can keep your ads done, we'll
try to give you more field work.”
Shortly
after that conversation the paper was bought by a media group. Things
changed even more, and they offered to keep me on in ad staff. I
ended up moving out on my own, doing freelance photography and
eventually going back to college to get a degree in art education
which totally redirected my career. I don't regret that in the least,
but I always will remember those words with a degree of sadness and
loss of innocence.
I know
the social media meets a creative need, an interactive need, but
that's not really what drives it. It doesn't pay anyone's salary and
that's what we have become. Someone wants to become rich, someone
has to pay the bills.
Sadly,
I find these days that my heart is distancing from the 'social media'
scene. I want to write, I want to be read and I guess I'll always
search for a place to do that. I look in to see what my family and
friends are about because I do care and they are mostly physically
distant, but the cryptic nature of memes and electronic substitutes
for response doesn't really give me much information about or
interaction with family. I fear that social interaction can't really
survive, even if 'social' sites do, because we have resorted to
letting someone else speak for us, feel for us, be real for us.
It
leaves us introspective instead of interactive, divided instead of
diversified, skeptical instead of knowledgeable. Mostly it wastes our
time and isolates us. For now it's what we've got. I guess we shall
have to learn once more to live in our own little world the way we
did before social media connected, expanded, contracted and
distracted us.
I took a FB sabbatical. My marriage can be challenging, but worth the struggles, for many reasons. But, sometimes when it became ALL about the struggle, I found myself reaching for some kind of comfort or validation, as a human being. The problem is that, whether concise or cryptic, there was backsplash and, sometimes feelings of betrayal. I watched people portray images of themselves that, whether or not intentional, gave an erroneous, over polished image. And, I watched those same individuals demand the same polish of their contacts, shunning them if necessary to preserve the FB image. No longer were we humans accepting humans on a realistic and compassionate level. We were clones, like L'Engle's alien planet when the ball went bouncing off and the children vanished behind closed doors. So, I set myself a challenge: shut down FB until I conquered both issues. There was surreal peace in my life once I got over the need to post my voice ... and the question of who would meet me outside the FB realm ... One. About 6 weeks passed, and by the time I returned to FB, I had not only endured several marital challenges with only one person to talk to, and I did not share my troubled, but I had come to terms with my value to man vs my value to God. It was a growth spurt. I claim no wisdom or strength ... Just that it was a worthy endeavour. I did return but slways imagined I would. But, I did so with a different outlook.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's harder to live in isolation in a 'social' setting or to just disconnect and know you are isolated for that reason. I know that I want to fix what I don't like and that seems to be one of the necessary losses. I love. I want to know what is happening in the lives of my people. But connections are more and more difficult to make it seems. I'm thinking they always were, but I was under the impression they weren't. It's becoming okay. Sad, but okay.
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